Wish List

I'm looking for an excuse to not to do homework right now. And what better way than making lists? Because everybody likes lists! Either it be a Top Ten list or a list of groceries! Black Friday is coming about. And that is the prime day for Christmas shopping. And with Christmas around the corner, I have a whole crapload of things in mind that I plan on getting myself one way or another. A lot of these items I've been wanting for a long time, and sometime in the future, I plan on obtaining them. One way or another. There really is no order to the way I list these items.

1) Smoking Robe

Because I need one. I love the grandiose, the laughably over-the-top nature of anybody wearing it. And I want it. Do I plan on smoking once I get myself one of these? Probably. Maybe a cigar. Or a pipe. Or better off - those toy pipes that you can blow bubbles in. I'm also going to need some slippers to add to my robe...

2) iPod

I wasn't going to want one of these. I told myself I wouldn't. But after many years I've seen so many of these around - I want to jump on the bandwagon. I know this goes against my loyalty towards PCs but since the crash of my last PC-run laptop aka HAL2000 (Rest in Peace, my beauty) I've been leaning more and more towards Macs. But alas, I wait for the next Microsoft OS, Microsoft 7, before I pass judgment. Not to mention, I just can't get used to Macs. Wait, what does this have to do with iPods? I want an iPod. I want to have music to carry around and listen to while I'm waiting around or working out. I don't care if it promotes anti-social behavior - I don't plan on talking to the women to the left of my while I'm on the treadmill. Now, I'm not looking for the latest iPods - hell, I'd do with an iPod Mini. But I don't want a shuffle. Sure, they're cheap, but I'd like to choose my music. And I'd like to watch video while I'm at it. I mean, who doesn't?

3) A Wii Game.

I've been long overdue a video game. I only game I own for the Wii is Super Smash Brothers Brawl, and as great of a game that is, it isn't enough to satisfy me. I need more! My gaming cravings have been empty lately, and even my DS is starting to lose its fun for me. So, I request one of the following:

-Wii Sports
-Wii Play
-Super Paper Mario
-Rock Band
-Call of Duty: World at War
-The Godfather: Blackhand Edition
-Tales of Symphonia: Dawn of the New World
-House of the Dead: Overkill
-Star Wars: The Force Unleashed
-Okami

That's about all I got... A lot of these games have captured my fancy, and I would absolutely love to add these to my library! I plan on getting them one way or another, but not until after Chinese New Year - after I get my fistful of dollars! Weee! And, for those of you looking to buy one of these for me, if none of those are affordable, some Wii Points would be awesome, as well!

4) An Analog Watch

I need one. I used to have one, but since the strap on it broke, I've been devoid of a watch. Sure, I can use my cellphone to tell time, but I sometimes just prefer to take a glance at my wrists. That, and I miss having a wristwatch. Made my wardrobe feel... more complete.

5) Running Shoes
I've been trying to exercise lately. Unfortunately, I don't have the right shoes to work out in. I've mostly been running around in my Vans - but I like those. Oh, speaking of which...

6) Sneakers
My Vans are wearing out. And I love my Vans D: I need a decent pair to walk around in!

7) Hoodie
I love hoodies. Don't know why, I just do :]

8) Jeans
I need a new pair. I have a crap, generic pair of jeans that I wear to work and to get messy in, and another pair to look good in. Or in my case, decent. But I need more D: I have enough shirts as it is, but jeans? I have terrible pants in my wardrobe - I. Need. Jeans. But most likely I'm going to have to get one of these myself.

9) Webcam
It'd be nice to communicate with friends that I can't see on a daily basis any more. It would be great to leave wall comments, or even potentially start Vlogging with.

10) A Digital Camera
It'd be nice not to have to borrow anybody's camera when I go out. 11) Zippo Lighter Because I can't find mine...

12) Vinyl Toys

I've been trying to get into these for awhile - unfortunately, they're an expensive hobby that I cannot afford to take up. Like cocaine. Anywho, I'd love to get my hands on some blindbox Dunny's or anything KidRobot. Or maybe a Kozik :]

13) Vintage Toy Robots

I've always loved these robots. There's something aesthetic about them, yet at the same time absolutely childish. Luckily, they're outdated so I doubt a child would love them.

14) Watchmen

'Nuff said.

15) 500 Things You Should Know
I want this book! Find it on Amazon! It's amazing! Look: http://www.notcot.com/archives/2008/11/show_me_how_500.php

That's all I can come up with for now. If you still need help looking for anything, keep in mind - I love childish aesthetics, robots, zombies, and video games. Most especially zombies.

Back to Therapy...

The title refers to the fact that I find blogging therapeutic - despite the fact that I also find blogging about my life narcissistic (and I despise narcissism. Speaking of which, thank God for spellcheck, because I cannot spell narcissism right for the life of me).

I've been feeling depressed at night for a couple weeks. For obvious reasons.

God, I don't want to do this. This is exposing too much of my life to the internet.

But who's gonna read it, right?

Maybe somebody within my social network... or my boss...

Oh, that'd be terrible.

Maybe I should stop typing like this. Stream of consciousness is annoying. It's like... God, I can't think of a witty analogy that's literary or of any merit. All I know it's as annoying as...

Dammit, failed again. What was I talking about before my digression?

Oh yeah, depression.

It sucks ass. Almost as much as studying Descartes. Or reading Jane Austen. *rimshot* (but not to be confused with rim job).

I've decided I'd do away with the damn thing sometime in Lorbeer Middle School. Middle School was an odd phase - I think for everybody. Hormones. The opposite sex. Boobs. No longer does the cootie shot exist, but instead all we want to do is touch each other. Or ourselves.

Anywho, I decided depression is not a part of my personality. Over five years later, I've met with my old friend again. And now I have an urge to wear all black, listen to Linkin Park, and quite possibly smoke nothing but black cigarettes and watch Donnie Darko over and over and over again.

Least I have been for the past several weeks. But after an alluring conversation with my friend, Aarika (as well as a bountiful dinner with some people in my dorm that I really enjoyed :]) I've decided to do away with Depression and be who I want to be.

Problem is, who do I want to be?

I've been having a problem with college, I'll admit it. It's nothing I ever hoped it to be.

When I initially thought of college, I guess I expected something... a bit more...

Okay, I don't know what I expected. All I know is that I wanted out of the drama and idiocracy of High School and into the intellectual fire of college.

And quite honestly, I haven't found much of a spark. Don't get me wrong - the classes are all stimulating for my cranium - it's just that socially... Well, I've turned out to become quite a social retard out here. I don't know what I'm doing any more. I feel like I've lost any value that I got in high school. I mean shit, I was top shit in high school - people fuckin' loved me!

But as soon as I got here and worked my charisma and my charm, it doesn't really get past anybody. Probably because I'm catering to a different crowd now.

But why does it feel like the people I want to get away from in high school have followed me here? I know several of you know what I mean... I don't want to go into detail in fear that those same people are reading this blog (I'm a pussy like that) but I -

I'm ignoring my homework. And I have class in less than nine hours. I must take my leave. Therapy session is over. Got to get to work!

Autobots, rollout!

So Close to Learning the Secrets of Wrestling...

So close!

I had a weird dream last night. I was taking a nap, and for some reason, I was endowed with the ability to actually play well at Street Fighter. Odd thing is, I haven't played Street Fighter in months. And somehow, my dream segued into a parking lot, dim-lit with orange street lights. For some reason, several of my friends and I were walking towards some destination... and as soon as we walked past a brick wall, a couple G-men were waiting for us. The one of the Suits just asks me, "Do you want to know the secrets to wrestling?"

Wrestling? I don't know where this came from. Maybe it was from talking to Noah - an Asian kid (Go figure, welcome to UCI) from Diamond Bar High School (and NOT Diamond Ranch High School) who did varsity wrestling for a couple years...

"Sure."

I wanted to know. Maybe I become a luchador or something? It'd be great - I mean, I really see no practical use for the wrestling moves, but hey, if there's a secret to it, why not find out what it is?

So, the Suit tells me, "The secret to wrestling is-"

My phone rings. It's night time. I overslept my nap. Tristan calls me to ask me if I wanted to go to dinner.

And to think, I was so close to learning the secrets of wrestling...

Let This Be Public...

I, Henry Pham, by the power of the internet, am announcing my intent to lose as much weight as I can and to maintain a healthy lifestyle. Lord needs I've needed it since... forever. But now, it's gotten serious.

I decided to go to the ARC - the Anteater Recreation Center - and weighed myself.

"Good GOD." I said to myself

I've always told myself, "Henry. You gotta lose weight. We're gonna start next week!"

And then it becomes a vicious cycle from week to week of the same phrase. And now, I figure - the best way for me to commit to this is to make this public. Cause the best kind of motivation is public humiliation.

My name is Henry Pham. I am 5'5". I weigh 214 lbs. And boy, do I need to lose weight. I shall blog my attempt at losing weight - my goal is to become 150. I'm trying to lose 60 lbs.

... I'm trying to lose 60 lbs. That's a fucking a lot.

Oh, well. I've had no problems with commitments before. I might as well commit to this. It's a wonder why I haven't committed to this. I know somewhere along the road, there is going to be reluctance - I'm going to need some major push from people.

So, it is official. As of tonight, I have already started - I went to the ARC, ran for a mile, burned 100 calories on the elliptical machine. It's a start. Hopefully, I can amp it up a little next time around.

Here we go! 214 lbs - 60 lbs = GOAL! Here we go!

(I'm going to weigh myself once every two weeks to document my progress. If I do not, I need anybody who reads this to bug me. And call me fat. And mean names. Like I said, public humiliation can be one hell of a motivator.)

Good Grief

Usually I'm against those personal blogs. You know, the kind where people talk about their day to day lives. They lament, they rejoice, they do what ever other person online does. I don't know, I feel that people who blog about their lives... I see no accomplishment in it. What exactly is there to achieve, blogging about your life? Is an audience expected, is there some hope that your blog will hit it big with a certain crowd and it'll make you famous?

I've tried different things with my blog. A couple sample formats, just messed around with what I can find. But using my blog as something to write about my life in - well, now I understand. It's therapeutic. God knows I need it. I'm going through immense turmoil myself right now.

My girlfriend of a year and nine months - we broke up Sunday. Funny how it turned out. Both of us were napping... Well, I was for the most part. I love napping with the girlfriend. Well, ex-girlfriend. I was nodding off, opening and closing my eyes... She was sitting there, looking at me, thinking. For a minute there, I thought she was just "admiring" me like I do with her sometimes while she's asleep.

"What're you doing?"
"Thinking..."

She thinks. For awhile. I'm sleeping. Dozing off. Each time my eyes flutter, and I glance up at her, she's "thinking."

"What're you thinking about? Breaking up with me?"

It was a joke. Well, least it was supposed to be - until she slowly nodded her head.

Talk about rude awakening, huh?

We got to talking. It was a mutual thing - I wanted what's best for her, and if she thinks that breaking up is the best thing well... I love her too much. I'm not going to stop her or hinder her. Unfortunately, she did think it was the best think for her. I conceded.

We were close to breaking up several times within my first month in college. Actually, even before. It's college. Distance. I was being a douchebag to my girlfriend as well, and I feel terrible about that... Three time, just within my first several weeks at UCI, the both of us felt that need to break up.

Then, for some reason or other, we were able to patch things up. I changed my douchebaggery ways and the both of us were actually doing really well. That usually happens. Whenever there's a change in lifestyle, the ex-girlfriend and I would go through a month of problems... It takes her that long to adjust to change, usually, and I'll tell you what that month is usually the hardest to get through. But once things get going, everything's all fine and dandy like sour candy.

I was kind of hoping for a repeat of that. I mean, the both of us were doing so well, too. Most especially on my birthday weekend. But let's just say my awesome birthday weekend went to shit real fast...

I guess it's good we ended it on a good note. I'm glad. Had we broken up before, it would have ended up terrible, and neither of us would have wanted to speak to each other again. But we ended it while the both of us were doing really well... while I had a really great weekend (well, not so much anymore)... And I've always told her "Do what you know is best - what you believe it's best. Even if its at my expense - I just want whats best for you."

I honestly cannot tell you why the both of us broke-up in the first place. It's hard for me to explain it, even to myself. The best way I can put it? We broke up because of college. Distance. Religion plays a factor somewhere in there...

I've grieved. Don't know how long this grieving process is going to take. I've spent every night so far looking for a nice, secluded place. And when I suceeded, I just kind of...

In the News...

According to the New York Times, the working poor and young have received the most injury during this time of recession.

The Daily Mail reports that 1.9 billions year ago, "an amoeba-like organism engulfed a bacterium that had developed the power to use sunlight to break down water to make oxygen" - kind of like chloroplast. See where I'm going with this? This amoeba-like organism is the ancestor of all vegetation on Earth.

Genetically modified honey bees are being put to work to save the current bee disaster; colonies of bees are collapsing and nobody knows why.

6000 Muslim clerics in India are endorsing a fatwa against terrorism.

Tyson say that their chicken is anti-biotic free. However, the unborn aren't.

Italian football - or "soccer" - players are falling dead by the dozen.

Inequality in California.

Cloverfield via Google Maps.

Oh wait, here's something that isn't new: I have way too much time on my hands.

The Right Way to Spend My Birthdays

My girlfriend's amazing. Have I ever told any of you guys that? We've been dating for close to a year and nine months - and I can honestly say we love each other deeply. Yes, I realize I'm still young and it's a bit too soon for me to say but goddammit, I love this girl. I've give more thoughts on love, but I'll save that for another day.

Now, I say this because of the things she's done for me. For my birthday, most especially. I finally turned legal on November 6th. I wasn't too thrilled about it - mostly because of the legal responsibility that entails an eighteen year old (just what everybody wants for their birthday). However, my friends did bring up the fact that I can now purchase cigars, cigarettes, pornography of all sorts, and participate in the Lotto. Oh, and who can forget the casino gambling on Indian reservations. So at least I have that going on for me.

Day of my birthday, the Yoh (aka Brian Yoshizaki) and the Sandman (aka Hamdan Chehabi) came by to visit me. We all went out, along with Tristan Schlotz (nickname pending), my dorm-mate - to see Zack and Miri Make a Porno. I quite liked it - leave it to Kevin Smith to make a cutesy romance movie centered around the making of hardcore pornography. With the occasionally shit jokes too. And when I say shit, I mean actual shit jokes - not shitty jokes - like poop. Feces. Eh, you guys get it.


Where was I going with this? Oh yeah, well the sixth of November was anti-climatic. But I was "meh" about it. Didn't really get the opportunity to go out, buy me some Djarums, a Lotto ticket, nor a skin mag. But I could honestly wait for those for another time - I mean, I've waited eighteen years, I can wait out for those a bit while longer.

It wasn't until I came home that I was really able to enjoy the fact that I just turned legal.

Now we get to the reason why my girlfriend is amazing. And why I spent my birthday the Henry Pham way.

Saturday morning, my girlfriend arrived at my house. It's always great to see her again. Surprising - the both of us had quite a rocky road to travel since college has started. Since that has passed, the both of us have been doing really well. Wait - I'm digressing again. Okay, so she arrives at my humble abode where the both of us kind of just hung out. We relocated back to her house to pretty much do the same - then headed down to our "spot," Boulevard Bagels - this little bagel shop that's just right down the street. We shared a garlic bagel with cream cheese - saving our appetite for when we go to Roscoe's Famous Deli (not to be confused with Roscoe's House of Chicken and Waffles). I had an inkling that my girlfriend had something planned over there, but I gave her the benefit of my doubt and feigned I knew nothing at all (knowing my girlfriend, she will argue against that claim).

Lo and behold, I had a little surprise from some of my close friends waiting for me here. It was nice - really nice - to get to see them again. Sam Heitz, Catie Albertson, "Babyface" Paul and Jarett "Jimbo" McElroy from high school, Carlos "The Spaniard" Gonzalez and his other half, Sarah Cevallos, the Yoh, and who can forget my wonderful girlfriend. She planned this all along. It's nice having somebody care about you enough to go through the trouble of contacting your friends and plan something.

Even better, after we all had our meal and parted ways, the Girlfriend and I went out to see Clint Eastwood's Changeling. Amazing movie - great job on the director's part, and absolutely phenomenal acting on Angelina Jolie's part. I had a problem with the script, however. Don't get me wrong, the storyline was great - I just wish the script was written better. It seemed too... uninventive. I mean, it's great - makes the story very easy to follow; however, I'd like my movies to have a bit of a twist in them. The screenwriter just happens to be J. Michael Straczynski who wrote it; he's worked on a lot of television shows like Babylon 5, He-Man and the Masters of the Universe, Murder, She Wrote, and Walker Texas Ranger. He's also a comic book writer; he's written for Spider-Man, Superman, the Fantastic Four, and Thor - which explains the several cliche lines here and there in Changeling. But the directing and acting makes up for the script. Least I believe that. Damn shame Christine Collins doesn't find her child. Though, that really isn't much of a spoiler, to be honest.

Also worth noting, that the movie does take place in California - from Los Angeles, to Mira Loma. Apparently, Mira Loma used to be called Wineville - they changed a name due to a certain... controversy. Well, go watch the movie and see.

Afterward, the Girlfriend and I moved from her house to mine. I love spending time with her. It's great - we never seem to get sick of each others company. Well, I guess after over a year in a relationship, it's kind of hard to.


That same night, I went to watch a midnight screening of The Rocky Horror Picture Show over at Claremont presented by Creatures of the Night. I've always wanted to go to a midnight showing of the Rocky Horror Picture Show and opportunity happened to come by. I went and really enjoyed myself - most especially with the audience participation. It's an amazing and unique experience - but most definitely an acquired taste. It's great - soon as Catie, Sam, and I (oh yeah, I went with them) got outside, it was raining. Gosh, I love the rain - it doesn't come by enough. Oh, and I got a pair of shades from Meatloaf that night - I'm keeping it as a good memento.

Oh, that reminds me - the spoils of my birthday!

- Free Coca-Cola shirt from Harkins Movie Theater
- Free pair of shades from Rocky Horror Picture Show
- Cash from the parental units
- A birthday card from the Spaniard
- An AMC gift card from Catie, as well as (see below)
- Cupcakes
- A collage of my time in high school from the Girlfriend

Very meager, not very much, but there's on in particular that I love most especially. The collage - reminds me of the great fun I had in high school. It's true - but cliche - what they say: You don't realize how much you miss something till it's gone.

Overall, I felt like I've had a good birthday weekend. And to make it even better, I'm going to be heading off to Fry's around Sunday afternoon to get me a new laptop... since my other one crashed...

I'm quite enjoying my Birthday Weekend. Sure, nothing exciting or anything but I quite like it - it's... comforting. Oh Gawd. I think I may just be maturing. I'm starting to lose my childhood. I got to remedy this quick - I need to go out and find me some old Power Rangers paraphernalia.

Rambling

I seem to have a bad habit of breaking promises. Its not like I mean to do it intentionally - it's just that everytime I try to make a promise, I always end up not going through with it. Even though I have good intentions (most of the time) and have the will to go through, there always seems to be circumstances that stops me from making any progress on the promises. For example, this blog.

I should get back into blogging. It's good practice for writing. It's trendy with the whole Web 2.0 culture. And I hear there's a scholarship floating around for bloggers. But I don't know - I don't like the idea of exposing my life to other people. Strangers. Random acquaintances who just happen to stumble across this page. Or a possible employer. There are stories of people being fired because they blogged about how much they hate their boss.

It's funny how blogs have turned into a public diary. Didn't diaries used to be private - meant to keep hidden our true thoughts and secrets from the world? And yet people treat these blogs as if they're their own diaries. Exposing themselves more than the pervert that visits the park during the daytime. Am I the only one who finds a problem in this? Both the pervert and people exposing themselves?

But then again, I guess that's the whole point of it. Tell everybody what's going on in your life, your opinions, and whoever listens, they just happen to. And -

Where am I going with this? I honestly don't know. Stream of consciousness. Just writing whatever comes off the top of my head. It's odd, because looking back at my previous entries I can't help but think "God, what an idiot... What was I hoping to accomplish with these?"

I'm rambling. Who honestly wants to hear people ramble? Well, obviously you do. You're still reading this right now. But I don't understand it - why listen to somebody ramble if they're not even as amusing as a Bruce Campbell movie?

Ramble. Funny word. You ever just say a word to yourself, look at its spelling, and somehow it looks and just seems alien to you. Happens to me. Happening to me right now with the word "ramble." Ram-bull. Rambo. Ramses. Chef Ramsey. Chef. South Park. Central Park. Central Perk. Friends.

Ah, I understand my problem. I'm tired. I usually organize my thoughts before working on a blog entry... But I haven't done it in so long, I don't think it matters anymore. Anybody will write anything, and if somebody finds it amusing, well I guess the entry has served its purpose. Purpose. I need one of those. Maybe as much as I need a "good time" if you catch my drift. Yeah, you know what I mean.

Disneyland.

I wonder if I should put a pic on this blog somewhere... Pictures are always something nice to look at. Great way of catching somebody's attention. But then again, that's too much work.

I got it. No wonder why I stopped working on blogs. I put too much work into them. I mean, hell, why did I do that? Was I desperately looking for an audience? Why am I talking about myself?

God I need some sleep. You know what? Sleep sounds good now. I'll try to post another entry... Blogging good practice... but sleeping is even better...

Three Months

Well, three months as of yesterday. I'm usually against exposing any part of my life on blogs. It is the whole reason why I ditched Xanga in the first place. Too many thirteen year olds bitchin' about their life, whining, complaining, sitting around typing about their pains and sorrows online for the whole world to see and get involved with instead of actually dealing with the situation. It depresses me to think that I used to be one of those teenagers... Of course, I wasn't dedicated enough to go to my Xanga and write about it. But I digress.

February 14, 2007. I've been meaning to write about 2/14/07 for awhile. Unfortunately, never really got around it. Things came up, I got lazy, and distracted. You know how it is sometimes.

That morning, I didn't show up to jazz band at all. In fact, I was fortunate - there was no jazz band that morning. I was even late to 1st Period band. But with good reason, too. You see, the weekend before, I had to pull a couple of strings. Had to find a friend in Interact and have them reserve half a dozen roses. The night before, I had a friend of mine take me out shopping. And a certain somebody found something waiting for her every period.

Period
1. Rose. 4 Hershey Kisses. Note with "Meet."
2. Rose. Singing Gram from Choir; "Bless the Broken Road", with a heart shaped donut. Note with "Me."
3. Rose. A bag of Hershey Hugs and Kisses with a note telling her to turn the bag upside down above her head, she she could be showered with "Hugs and Kisses." Note with "On."
4. Rose. With lunch (riceballs) and a sweater that I owe her. Note with "The."
5. Rose. Tiger plushie that reacts everytime you press his paw. Note with "Left Blank Intentionally"
6. Rose. Note with "Roof."

I tried to avoid her the whole day. And the only time I saw her was during my lunch. I was running around, setting a couple of these gifts into plan - when I peeked my head outside of the mini-band hall and saw her coming. I immediately ran back inside, and dropped the gifts in there. I walked out of the band room, nonchalantly as possible and the both of us made eye contact. She was wearing this pink sweater, with pearls around her neck. She just looked at me, and gave a soft laugh. She knew it was me the whole time. Of course - I play no games, and I have been coming off pretty strong for awhile.

Fast forward to the roof. There I was. Dressed for occasion. Black button up shirt, despite the blazing heat, and jeans to match. I was waiting for fifteen minutes, nervous, wondering if maybe she copped out on me and went home, couldn't face me because of the whole magnitude of it. I mean, I've never really done anything like this to anybody before. True, I admit I've always been a romantic at heart. But never have I actually carried out these romantic desires. And here I was, standing on the roof, waiting for a girl that I just gave half a dozen roses, enough chocolate to kill a chocoholic of cocoa poisoning, a stuffed French tiger that comes onto you every chance it gets, a band sweater that she's expected from me for awhile, lunch that I worked hard to make the night before, and... well, hopefully she knows the intention behind all of it. She's a smart girl. No doubt she knows.

My cellphone goes off. My friend calls me, and tells me that she's looking for me. As soon as he said that - there I see her. Walking towards me, with everything in her arms. I tell him that I see her, and hang up on her. The both of dropped our stuff down, and well... I started. Gosh, I was so nervous. I remember telling her quite embarrassingly that this was easier to do in front of a mirror. I was fumbling all around with my words, shaking. Then, she held me. Calmed me down. Then, I just spit it out.

"Will you be my Valentine?"

Of course. We stayed up there for forty minutes. People called our cellphones. People were looking for us. Heck, even one of the administrators called us on the school intercom system.

"Will you please come out of your hiding place?"

But neither of us heard them. Neither of us cared. Much to my chagrin, half the band had sectionals that day, and half of them heard the administrators message to us. But I've never done anything like that. "Sounds like something that came out of a movie" - I've gotten that response more than once. And as of today, three months and one day later, I want to wish that certain special person:

:] Happy Three Months, Caitlin "CJ" Jaqlein Kemble. <3

How to Save the World

Be nice. Don't be a jerk. Be charitable. Don't be selfish. Look past appearances. Don't be prejudice. Be forgiving. Don't hold onto grudges. Consider what others want to do. Don't be a push over.

And most of all, be at one with your insecurities, and work them out. Before you can set the world onto the path of reconstruction, you must save yourself from ending up on the path of destruction. Only then, can you begin your quest to save the world.

Conversations I'd Like to Hear More Often

“…Dude, why’s your cock on my desk?”
“I think a better question would be ‘Why is it green?’”

“Skimming through Vogue whilst sipping a Cosmopolitan and listening to Yanni – how much more manlier can you get.”

“Happy Birthday! I was about to get you one of those, you know, ‘dancers’ in a cake, but I ate the cake… and the ‘dancer’ if you get my drift, eh, eh?”

“Mmm… last night I ate through ten pounds of meat. Afterwards, I ate out ten different women. All of different ethnicities, too.”
“Ah yes, the All American Buffet. Where the melting pot ends up in your mouth.”
“… that’s disgusting.”

“I will castrate you with a butter knife. No lie. A rusty one, even.”

“I’m telling you, that’s what Brown Eye Girl is about!”
“Oh, shut up!”
“No, no, here me out! It’s about this guy – who’s met this nymphomaniac who only likes to do it in the derriere–“
“Nah man, it’s about a dude – or chick - that’s totally sprung for some chick with brown eyes.”
“Yeah, well, I won’t take that for granted; everybody has a different interpretation of art and literature, I mean one guy can look at Alice in Wonderland and say that it is a tale of a girl struggling from childhood to adulthood, whereas some other dude can say that it’s Charles Dodgson’s wild acid dream done in a novel-”
“Carroll.”
“What?”
“It was Lewis Carroll who wrote the book. Not ‘Dodgson.’”
“…Lewis Carroll is a pseudonym; Dodgson started using it after ‘Solitude.’”
“Digression!”
“Alright, alright, going back to this… questionable content. This is my interpretation of ‘Brown Eye Girl’. ‘Brown Eye Girl’ is about this certain female… who likes… the anal sex. And, like my very well esteemed friend over here said, yes he is sprung for this chick. So much that he’s fuckin’ her all over the place.”
“Oh, God…”
“So, he’s pretty much doin’ her in the butt; ‘along the water fall,’ ‘in the green grass,’ ‘in the misty morning fog,’ ‘behind the stadium.’ It is behind these places that they are ‘laughing,’ with ‘their hearts a thumpin’, not to mention other things thumping… And who can forget the ‘slipping and sliding,’ thanks to all that lube needed to –“
“Alright, that’s enough.”
“I’m just giving my interpretation of Brown Eye Girl.”
“Great. Every time I hear that song, I’m going to thinking about anal sex.”

I've Always Been Bad With Names

For my AP History class, we just took a test over the Western Frontier, running from President Harrison to Cleveland and all that good stuff. For my essay, I wrote about the Decline of the Plains Indians. More than once did I find myself writing in "Shitting Bull" instead of "Sitting Bull" and "Helen Cunt Jackson" instead of "Helen Hunt Jackson."

... I had a strong urge to leave the typos as is.

Other Plans for the Future:
Film Festivals

Nothing big, just personal ones. You know, Movie Marathons. There are many movies that come with its own sequels or spin-offs that should be watched in its entirety. There are some shows that should earn its same respect. Here are several that I would like to plan sometime in the future, when I have enough time. And the equipment. And work space. And the freedom. And etc.

1) Star Wars Marathon: My idea would be to watch every single canon movie/episode in chronological order. From The Phantom Menace, onto Attack of the Clones, then the Clone Wars animated television series. Afterwards, we'd go back to the live version, with the horrendous portrayal of the baddest man in the Galaxy thanks to Hayden Christensen in Revenge of the Sith. And then, onto the originals: A New Hope,The Empire Strikes Back, and finally, Return of the Jedi. I imagine it would have to span from Noon until well into midnight, with some Star Wars video games while we set up. It'd be like a mini-convention. I just hope George Lucas doesn't subpoena me for it.

2)Venturing into the View Askewniverse: I am a Kevin Smith fag. I'm pretty sure a lot of you know about that. And what I'd like to pull off is showing every single movie taken place in the View Askewniverse, starting with cult hit Clerks, going onto the funny Mallrats, the controversial Dogma afterwards, the impressive Chasing Amy, the juvenile Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, and finally, the epic Clerks II. Heh, know what? I'm pretty sure some Smith fans across the country would be up for something like this. Heck, I bet the big Kahuna himself would probably join in himself. I've got an account on the View Askew forum boards where a lot of his fans frequent, and I just hope Kevin Smith doesn't mind me holding a Marathonin his honor. He seems like the type of guy to let this kind of stuff happen.

3)Ride on the Bebop: w00t! I must say, I never thought I could come up with some great titles for such marathons! Well, this one would have to be off of the ever-so-awesome and the epic anime, Cowboy Bebop. Now, I know that there are some people out there who absolutely shun themselves from anime due to the fact that it's... well, anime. However, I know of people who aren't even casual anime watchers, but rather movie buffs who've totally fallen for the charm of the series. (Here's looking at you, Danny P. and Josh C.) So I ask of you, random reader who has not seen an anime other than Pokemon and even despised that, look into Cowboy Bebop. The show combines great storytelling, beautifully done action, and a bloody awesome soundtrack. That not enough for you? Think 1940s noir with Star Trek, with Bruce Lee as the Captain and Clint Eastwood as the High Commander with the Great Gatesby. No lie. It is that awesome.

Okay, maybe you're not understanding. You have to look past the fact that it's an anime, and have to really, truly enjoy this anime as... more as a work of aesthetic beauty. Something that Siskel and Ebert - errr, sorry - Ebert and Roeper would praise. It has a strong American influence, most especially around the jazz era, and the music is the driving force of the anime. I mean, just listen - don't watch, listen, to the theme song, "Tank!" by the Seatbelts. It's explosive, it's dynamic, it's hard to keep up, so much energy burning in it! And that's just the music! The Spaceship fighting reminds me so much of Star Wars, the hand-to-hand fighting reminscent of Bruce Lee, and the gunplay... My God, give me some time to breathe...

Errr, yes back to the event. Well, let's see... Most episodes span for 23 minutes, there are about 26 episodes, give or take 20 minutes if you cut off the end and beginning theme, so that's 520 minutes. Divide that by 60, you got yourself around 9 hours of Cowboy Bebop fun. Add to that the movie Cowboy Bebop: Knockin on Heaven's Door, and you got around 12 hours of fun. From what I see, the event will probably have to go from early morning into late night, including breaks with music by the Seatbelts and Yoko Kanno.

This I can look forward to.

4)The 24 Marathon: Is it insane? Yes. Will I do it? For the sake of saying I have, yes. How many seasons are there? Six? Six fucking seasons of 24?

... This one is going to take a lot of planning. Maybe a two day marathon based off of one season per week. Yeah, that'll work.

5)The Bruce Lee Brawl: Not enough people are watching his movies. It's all about Jet Li, Jackie Chan, Donny Yen, or Chow Yun Fat. Nowadays. Don't get me wrong, the guys are all great. But come on, Bruce Lee? The man behind Jeet Kune Do! The man who could strike from three feet away in five hundredths of a second! Who could bike 10 miles in 45 minutes! The man who could do one hand push-ups with only two fingers! The movies? The Big Boss (Fist of Fury in America), Fist of Fury (The Chinese Connection), Way of the Dragon (Return of the Dragon), Enter the Dragon, and Game of Death.

6)Week of the Living Dead: Zombie movies. From George Romero, to Shaun of the Dead, to Versus. Evil Dead series, Zombie Flesh Eaters, 28 Days Later... But not Resident Evil. Heh, most likely around breaks, we'll probably whip out the good ol' zombie games like House of the Dead and Dead Rising. This will most likely be dated around Halloween, and last well past the Day of the Dead.

7) Week of Kung POW!: Kung Fu movies. Drunken Master (1&2), One Armed Boxer,a couple of Shaw Brother movies like Five Deadly Venoms and One Armed Boxer, a whole bunch of Gordon Liu movies, some John Woo movies with Chow Yun Fat. Yeah, this one is goin' to have to last a week. Ooh, better off, I should have this marathon go on during the Lunar New Year!

8) Mystery Science Theatre 3000: A whole night filled with the crappiest of B-rated movies. Why go through the torture? Cause Crow T. Bot and Tom Server makes everything all the more better. The shows got cult status, and it'll teach you a thing or two about what not to do when making a movie. Not to mention, hilarity.

9) The Cult: A whole week filled with good ole' cult movies, and cult classics. The plan is to randomly choose a bunch of cult movies, and a bunch of cult television series, and show them over a span of the week. Speakin' of B movies and Cult followings...

10)The Classics: I'm talkin' about the movies that are well known throughout the decades. Often parodied, often talked about, often known about amongst movie buffs. Citizen Kane, Seven Samurai, Casablanca, Singin' in the Rain, Psycho, Roshomon, 8 1/2, Sholay, A Better Tomorrow, The Unknown Soldier, No Man's Land - and the list goes on and on. Most likely, this marathon is going to go on for awhile... But it's meant for people who're looking for aesthetic beauty within movies.

Well, that's about all I want to think of right now. Most likely, I'm probably going to do a couple of these marathons, not all. I just don't have the time. However, this is a list for ideas. If anybody want to use any of them, go on ahead, I highly encourage it. I hope it kind of stirs somethin' in you to try to hold a movie marathon as well. Just make sure that you invite the right people. And have enough munchies and liquids. And toilets. And Febreeze, just in case somebody decides to fart or if the room starts smelling bad.

The Connotations of Annotations

Alright, the title has nothing to do with the post, but after listening to Gene Kelly and Donald O' Connor sing "Moses Supposes" in Singin' in the Rain, I've been on fire!

So, something interested happened in the unusually mundane life of Senor Pooty Chang's life. My English teacher, Mr. Charles, makes us annotate - or write notes in the margin - our copy of The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. I have to digress here for a second, both for the sake of getting something off my chest and thickening up this post.

I don't care what others say, I find Huck Finn an oddly refreshing change from what I'm usually forced to read. After all, Mark Twain is much easier to read than bloody Charles Dickens (all Charles wanted to do was fatten up his wallet since they paid by the word during the 1800s - thence, his ways of calling a girl a slut in so many words). I've enjoyed Huck Finn immensely, and I know others say that's it's a boring book to read, which in that case I point your way towards Catcher in the Rye (I admit, I didn't really like Catcher in the Rye. Nothing against J.D. Salinger, I just hate teenage angst. It was the main reason why I couldn't stand Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince). However, Huck actually seems like a believable character, with the same notions and naivete of a 14 year old. Twain has a great sense of humour as a writer, and his characters are just as charismatic as one would imagine Twain himself to be. Unfortunately, people of this generation can't seem to enjoy Twain's wit - at least not without some intellect and wit themselves... Phuckin' philistines...

Back to the story. Well, my friend Elena writes "I love the cock" in one of the pages of my copy of Huck Finn. I didn't bother erasing it; I wrote "But I do love the cock, I do!" instead. Well, come English class, Mr. Charles was going around checking books for annotations while everybody was off working. I was kind of hoping that he would just skim through mine, not really read any of my notes, and just slap me with a full grade. Which would've been great; I was writing random notes that weren't even pertaining to the book, anyways. I didn't read the night before, so I did all of my anotations and highlighting the period before.

Unfortunately, Mr. Charles took the time to read my notes. While I was conversing with one of my peers, I was looking out of the corner of my eye for his reponse. During the middle of my conversation, Mr. Charles calls for my attention.

"Henry..."

He flashes to me the page with "I Love the Cock" on it.

"Ok, I didn't write that in, that's not even my writing."

He turns to the next page where, distinctly in my writing, it says "But I do love the cock! I do!" on it.

"... Ok, that I did write."

Sure, I got 1.5 points out of 4, but it was damn well worth the moment. Thing is, that night - I finished the book.

Tom Sawyer is a silly cooze.

Things I to Do Before I Become
Twenty Five

I never believed in New Years resolution. Sure, it lasts for a couple weeks, but come Valentines Day, we stuff that lists underneath the cluttered mess of last year. A bunch of empty promises - no, a bunch of empty expectations - that you hope to accomplish. So, I begin this year with not a "New Year's Resolution" but rather a set of accomplished goals. Will I complete all of these? I hope so. I know there will be things over the years that'll change my situation. Change in tastes, change in availibilty, and etc. But hell, I know I'm going to find these goals too cool to pass up. And I'm going to need a lot of people, and a lot of friends to pull it off. You'll see why. Enough tête-à-tête - here's the list.


1) Become a movie buff: I'm working on it right now. Not a lot of movies I've seen so far, but I'm working on it. Black and white, noir, science fiction, Gong Fu, Clint Eastwood, Fritz Lang, Stanley Kubrick, Vincent Price, Ed Wood, Bruce Campbell, weird west, class B movies, class C movies, class Z movies, Fellini, cult movies, animes, and the list goes on! Now if only I had more time to watch 'em...

2) Read more books: I've been deprived of quality works; I need to read more. I've got so many books just sitting around in my room, waiting for me to pick them up. But dammit, I haven't had as much time as I'd like to read them! This is a bad habit. So I basicly refuse to buy any books until I finish these. I want to be a bookworm. It'll add to my geekyness. And you guys know I love being a Geek.

3) Read more comic books: I don't care what people say; comic books are just as entertaining as books. Just with more eye-candy. They're like movie stills, or like movie storyboards. It's become a hobby of mine recently, and I hope to pick it up later on. These books are of big cultural impact, I mean after all just look at Batman, Superman, Spiderman, and the X-men. Now, I want to delve deeper into that. Read comic books that people don't know about, stuff that people are missing out but only an esoteric handful can actually fully enjoy. Such as Alan Moore comic books; the man behind Hellblazer, Watchman, and the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. It was his V for Vendetta that really got me into comic books; actually, the movie trailer did. But I only had to see it once to be totally obsessed with it. I staked out for the comic book, and read it, from front to back. But a comic book that I've really gotten into is 100 Bullets, a totally noir comic book sent in today's gangster life. A person is offered an attache case, with 100 bullets and a gun that is untraceable. Kill the person who has wronged you in your life - take revenge, and kill anybody that gets in your way, and get away with it. Sure, the plot sounded a bit sketchy at first, but after reading a couple issues, I found myself wanting more. I can't find anything like this on TV.

And now, I've got a stackful of comic books in my room. I just hope it doesn't grow out of control... Though, I hear they've revived The Spirit series... Holy crap, Frank Miller is going to be directing The Spirit movie! *splooge*

4)Get more activity going on in these blogs: It's not for my sake; it's for your sake. Admit it, you found my stuff on Anthropology of Geeks interesting. Okay, maybe not, maybe I'm just telling myself that to sleep better at night. Still, with the billions of people logging onto the internet, I know a handful of them has come across either one of my blogs once or twice. If I were to update more often, and show more interesting stuff on these blogs, I'm pretty sure more people would tune in. Who knows? I might be able to get a cult following. Like Ze Frank.

5) Conducting a Flash mob: A whole bunch of people gathering to do one stupid thing, simultaneously, all for the purpose of amusing the public. You see, I already have an idea of what my flash mob will be like. Though, I'm not telling, for somebody may steal my idea! Only problem is, finding the people who have the balls to do it. And not to mention, the people who won't flake out on me. To find at least 50 crazy people who're willing to take part of a flash mob with me - well, that'll just be too awesome to bear.

[Random Fact: The first recorded flash mob was actually quite recent. In June 3, 2003, more than 100 people converged onto the ninth floor rug department of Macy's department store. They were gathering around one particular very expensive rug. Anyone approached by a sales assistant was advised to say that the gatherers lived together in a warehouse on the outskirts of New York, that they were shopping for a Love Rug, and that they made all their purchase decisions as a group.]

6)Take part in a Zombie Walk: I love zombies. Ever since I picked up Resident Evil for the GameCube, I've had this subconcious love for them that I haven't acknowledged until now. I saw the remake of George Romero's "Dawn of the Dead" and I liked it. Hell with it, I loved it. And then came the Evil Dead series, which introduced me to Bruce Campbell, oozing with machismo. I'd go gay for him. And then, the rom-com-zom Shaun of the Dead, my God, I love it. Thanks to Shaun of the Dead, it has introduced me to the genius that is Simon Pegg, Nick Frost, and Jessica Stevenson. Not to mention, it had me pick up one of the greatest shows I've seen in ages, Spaced. And 28 Days Later - one of the best horror films I have ever enjoyed. The cinematopgraphy is beautiful, and all done on digital camera. And the plot, I found it rapturing. And to add to my zombie love, my family got me the Zombie Survival Guide, a great book. Were it not for the "$13.95/Humor" label on the back, I would've actually believed the book. Not to mention, Diamond Bar is mentioned in it, too!

I think it's this sick fantasy to take part in a zombie invasion. Survival, and such. It has always appealed me, survival stories. But survival against zombies? It'll give me a reason to lob off a couple heads. Not to mention, it's a good way of purging the Earth of many idiots...

However, a zombie walk sounds just as fun. Sure, I can't knock a couple of heads off, but come on, it's zombies! A Zombie Walk is pretty much a whole bunch of people gathering usually around some urban area, shopping mall, city streets, or any public place; acting in character as... well, zombies and limping towards a local cemetary. Or a party. It's a great way to creep out a bunch of people, and take part with other people! And I can imagine talking to others afterwards.

"I totally loved you out there! And your brother, not to mention, he does a convincing job crawling around on the ground, moaning and groaning."
"Yeah... an accident caused my brother to become a paraplegic and talk in moans and grunts. So, he doesn't have much of a choice but to crawl and moan."
"..."

7) To be part of a Late Night Subway Party: A celebration that takes part in a mass transit. There's no bus driver to stop us, and everybody is partying. People wearing costumes, champagne breaking open, snackin' on free eats, jamming to random music, random portable bars - imagine walkin' into the subway with all of this happening at 2 in the morning! Now, if only the Circle Line Party can bring that kind of stuff over here to the Americas!

8) To host a Christmas Lingerie Party: This is pretty simple. Invite a whole bunch of people to party. In festive, holiday undergarments. of course, it would have to be selected invitation - I don't want just any pig coming in a coping a feel. Or a person notorious for not looking good for wearing a thong. Constantly. Still, it'd give the ladies a chance to show off some of the cute things they've got hidden under their clothes - errr... hidden in their closet. Not to mention, I'm pretty sure the guys won't mind the company. It's just like a pool party - without the pool. Or the summer. Of course, it's going to be dress coded - and I know a couple of people who wouldn't mind playing bouncer for a night so they can keep thins cool. Imagine - it'd be a great way to spend the holidays, eh?

9)To live on my own: Or at least with a couple of roomates. I know once I get out of high school, I'm either going to be dorming or commuting from home to school. But once I become 25, I'd like to live on my own. Try to earn a living somehow, while going to school. Not to mention, I think it'd be pretty fun owning an apartment or a condo with a couple of friends. Come on, to live with your best friends 24-7? How awesome is that? Sure, we're bound to drive each other crazy. But we'll be growing together, and that's gotta count for something. It'll be like having a family at home, waitin' for me after class. We're all probably going to all go out, go drinking, do something crazy. Not to mention, we won't have to worry about being bored. We've got each other to keep company. And the only adults around will be us. All I have to worry about is that none of my roomates... well... cornhole me in my sleep. Or at least dry hump me when I'm in bed. Trust me, I've had this experience many times.

10) Become Adept at Cooking: I'm already working on this. My cookings alright, it's bearable. However, I'm pretty sure it'll do good for guests. Probably be cheaper than going out for food, and it's a good way to impress people that you are capable of living by yourself. And if number 9 works out, I've got some guinea pigs I can use for my cooking! And it's a good reason to get a girl over to my place...

"Where do you want to go for dinner?"
"How about my place? I make a pretty good poached and sautéed breast of chicken with a morel velouté, pomme purée and caramelizsed turnips."
"... somebody's gettin' some tonight."

Ah, if only it takes that much...

11)Become an amateur bartender: Sure, it's one thing to serve your friends a couple bottles of Samuel Adams, but a complete different thing if you can offer a Salty Dog, Green Dragon, Royal Arrival, Satan's Whiskers, Lime Rickey, or, if you've got the material and feeling really dangerous, a Mickey Slim. And if you want, slip a roofie in a glass to have some more fun with your guests.

12) Be able to write, produce, and direct a movie or two:

[WARNING: Long read, if you don't have the patience, skip to number 13]

Sure, it's one thing to make directing, screenwriting, acting, or producing a profession. But come on, finding an agent, looking for somebody who's willing to let you look at a script, and auditioning for it? It's a lot of work. And half the time you don't know if you're the right person for the part or not. Thence, I've concluded that if you want to be an actor, write and direct your own stuff. That's what Kevin Smith did with Clerks, and Sylvester Stallone did with Rocky. They've created a style that works for them, and looks where it's gotten them. Rocky is now a world renowned movie with many sequels (too many, actually) and Clerks is a great cult classic that has created many other franchises out from the View-Askewniverse. I'd go gay for them... Well, maybe Smithy but not Stallone. He seems like the type to play rough.

Still, I have several ideas planned. My first movie is going to be Henry and Hamdan Go to In-N-Out*, obviously - it'll be a good teaching experience for me. Only problem I'm going to have is funding, and finding the right camera. I'll probably have to pull a couple strings, do a couple favors, do a couple things I won't be proud of, but hell, I know it'll be worth it. I'm proud of the script. It's good. Damn good. I mean, it's not, you know... Martin Scorsese good. Not anything that'll garner me as much success as Clerks would for Kevin Smith. (If anything, its a homage to Kevin Smith movies. But knowing some bastards, it's probably a blatant rip off to them) But hell, I've gotten laughs out of it. I've gotten some pretty good support from friends and peers. And I see no reason why not to go through with it. Well, I can actually think of many, but ignorance is a bliss.

Now, I know comedy is my forte, so most likely I'm going to be following the path of a comedy director. So I'm probably going to be following such directors such as Mike Nichols, Terry Gilliam, Terry Jones, Jay Roach (I have to keep a better eye on him) and Kevin Smith (most especially him). However, I'm probably going to do a Kubrick and expand my talent to as many genres as I can. I've already got a movie idea or two for an action movie, but what's really bothering me - what's really bothering me, is this one movie that I know, I absolutely know, that if I can do it right, it'll put me on the spot. Probably do for me what Garden State did for Zach Braff. (I'd go gay for that Jew.)

However, its probably going to take a couple of years to produce. I admit it, this one is going to be more... urban. Ghetto if you will. But not, you know, mainstream ghetto. I'm guilty of having hip-hop in my iTunes. But to defend myself, it's mostly underground stuff. Mind you, it's nothing like Jedi Mind Tricks - no, they're too hardcore for me. It's leans more towards Nujabes, Deltron3030, Gorillaz, People Under the Stairs - alternative, indie hip-hop artists that has uses jazz samples from artists such as Miles Davis or Yusef Lateef. This Untitled Project will probably have tracks from this kind of genre. I imagine it to be more, artistic, more avant garde if you will. Think Collateral, but with lowbrow art, alternative, indie hip-hop, stencil graffiti, and urban vinyls and without the action. Sure, it's going to be boring for the average joe, but I'm pretty sure I can churn some aesthetic beauty out of it. Most likely it's going to be an amalgam of urban culture from Hong Kong, Japan, England, and Canada (You'd be surprised what Canada has to offer). I'll most likely be looking towards the Kowloon Emperor or Banksy for influences... What can I say? I'm fascinated with alternative urban culture.

But I need a plot. I'm just hoping life'll throw me a bone and slap a plot into my face.

13) Take a road trip across America and find something worth taking home in all 50 states: Grab a bunch of friends. Pool in a couple thousand dollars of money. Live in a couple of crap shack motels, get lost several times, find a random place, go off-roading, get drunk. Of course, it's going to have to be impromptu. Or unplanned. Or else, it'd be just a "vacation." Sure, there are going to be many dangers to doing this (thence I'm going to befriend somebody who owns a couple of firearms... or weapons. Or knows different kinds of kung fu). Sure, the money's going to have to be hefty (probably going to have to sell our body several times). But hell, it's all in the fun. It's an adventure waiting to happen. I'm just waiting for the ripe time and age to do it. Now, if only there was a way to find a road that leads to Hawaii...

14) Backpack through Europe: There's something about living the life of a vagabond that I've always found appealing. The adventure, the ability to learn something new, the stories to share. But I can tell Europe is going to be an exciting experience for me. I want to travel through all 27 member states in the European Union and much like #13, take home something from every single one. I'm pretty sure I'm going to learn a lot from every culture. But I know that I'm going to be visiting Slovenia and staying at Ana's place for awhile. (Here's looking at you, Ana!) Now this is going to be a bit more... costly. So most likely, I'm going to have to find a rich uncle I didn't know about that and work up the food chain... Crap, most of mine is in Vietnam. Damn. Guess I'll just have to be lucky and hope I can find a $100,000 within the couch cushions...

Fourteen Goals.
May not seem like much, but mind you, these are 14 very big goals. Well. For the most part. I've got like, less than 10 years to accomplish these. A lot of them are going to take a lot of time. I just hope I can find enough of it to finish them all. Why 25? So I could go into my mid-life crises earlier, and buy myself something expensive. Then, 5 years later, wonder why the hell I bought it. That, and it'd be a great thing to impress the ladies with once I start lookin' to settle sometime afterwards. But life's pretty unpredictable. So, here's hoping. Now, I think I'll get started with #2 and see how far I can get in Huck Finn...

*E-mail me at pootiechang@gmail.com if you want a copy of the script, or AIM me @ Seven Asian Army. Or if you want to help me with one of these goals. Just don't make me sell my body. It's not the greatest on Earth, but I don't want to be cornholed by a stranger. Or anybody for that matter... At least not sober.

My Audition for a Date with Kevin Smith

[Edited: Deleted video. Got annoying. Just click the damn link below]

Alright, here's what happened: while I was in L.A to see Kevin Smith in his Clerks II: Back to the Well for my birthday. My friend Spencer Brown and I were in the Secret Stash, you know, the one right next to the UCLA campus, when a group of what I assumed to be college students asked me if I would like to audition for a date with Kevin Smith. Two words popped into my mind: Fuck. Yeah. So, this was the product of it. Now, I am to ask you, the reader, a tremendous favor for me.

1) Click on this link.
2) Watch the video
3) Register into IMEEM
4) Rate the video a 5.
5)Share with other friends. And ask them to go through steps 1-5.

Now, if you want something in return, I can offer you this:
1) A part in my Henry and Hamdan Go to In-N-Out movie
2) A partical copy of the script (I assure you, the copy I'm working on is excellent and many times better than what has been previously posted online)
3) For every person you get to vote my video a 5, the bigger the chunk you're going to get in the "partial" copy of Henry and Hamdan Go to In-N-Out. I will know by the votes.
4) My love <3>

Smurf Check!

I feel I should explain. You see, Diamond Ranch has this tradition every year for Homecoming. We hold a Blackout Rally, which is pretty much a... well, a rally. Except, the rally is done outside of school hours, at night when everything is completely dark, all natural sunlight is cut from outside the gym, and there is to illuminate it is a laser show, flashing blacklights, glow-in-the-dark assortments totted by the performance groups, and the shine of the band's instrument. I am typically with the Band. There are usually skits that somewhere incorporate the Homecoming theme, along with performance groups adding to the skit.

This year, our theme was Indiana Jones, and the Indian Club contributed, along with the Dance Team, Cheerleaders, and Pageantry. Band usually just plays before and after the Rally, just as some kind of background music. However, the band people enjoy it more than the audience it plays to (obviously). In the previous posts, you can see my Tromboners doing the Trombone Suicide at this rally which a friend of mine recorded - awesome, isn't it? Added it to our repertoire of dances a couple of weeks ago, which we "borrowed" off of Youtube. Been wowing people ever since. Should've seen the looks when we did this in front of the elementary school kids: "Oh my God, they're moving!" Anywho, at the end of this rally, I randomly screamed out "Smurf Check!"

Now, somethings happens when you scream "Smurf Check!" towards a large group of DRHS Bandg33ks. A long-haired Trumpet player named Damian will reply back, "Papa Smurf can I lick your ass?", in which a large group of males within the Band scream back "Yeah, lick my ass, bitch!" Thence forth, it breaks off into a cadence of clamping and stomping feat rthymically, and it goes on until it dies off. However, after the rally, I yelled "Smurf Check!" Typically, Damian yells back with his usual reply, and so do the men, but the Drumline provided the cadence. Elated, I gathered up a handful of Bandg33ks and the Drumline, and made this video.

Trombone Suicide

Yep. Those're my boys. And girl.
Diamond Ranch Trombone's '06-'07!

A Little Fall... Cleaning....?

Just to keep my blog going alive, I would like to inform my small audience that I have done some organizing. As of now, this blog shall be used for my own personal use. Events in my life, random musings incoherent, stuff that shouldn't interest random passerbys. So yes, that means that you will no longer be seeing those intellectual posted articles that I post up a couple months ago (wouldn't matter anyways, I haven't posted any since). However, I do plan on making more. Just when I have more time. But do not despair! For I have transfered them all to this new blog, the True Anthropology of Geeks! This website will feature all of my freestyling articles, intellectual ramblings, and the kind of material that should have poeple pondering. So if you want to feel smart, check it out. I've even moved all of the old articles in there if you ever want to read them again!

Thank you Lemon-Eyed for the image.

Also, I got rid of my Henry and Hamdan Go to In-N-Out sample script. I just felt that it took up too much space on my blog. But if you want to look at it, or at least what I'm willing to offer to let you look at, contact me. I check my e-mail occasionally, so don't be afraid to send me a message!

Signing off with way too much homework to deal with,
Henry "Pootie Chang" Pham

P.S. pootiechang@gmail.com

... What?

jossungood: So how'd you weekend faire thus far, mon amie?
mccxricekrispy: It sucketh be
mccxricekrispy: Too much studying on the weekends for me
mccxricekrispy: bout you my good man?
jossungood: What a shameth it be to hear such troubling news so as to befalleth upn thee, and I in somber retriubutino offer thee my most sincerest of apologies.
jossungood: Mine, it be one of a few pleasures paired with the insatiable inevitability of mundane bordom.
mccxricekrispy: Ah, poor soul, I believe the Lord has shown some disdain in us
jossungood: Ah, this be true fellow wanderer of misfortune.
mccxricekrispy: indeed
jossungood: Let us not count thine troubles too hastily, fellow! Let us instead look resolutely toward an inner goal: doth thou wish to accompany me to a film later on in the course of my days.
mccxricekrispy: You speak of later days or of the day ahead of us?
jossungood: This one we are interlocked within.
mccxricekrispy: Ah, unfortunately, I must decline - my day is filled with too many burdensom scholarly task that I can't ignore or else it might be the demise of me
mccxricekrispy: I expect that if I were to attend, we would be viewing Science of Sleep, nay?
jossungood: Most definitely, your astute prediction doth not fail thee.
mccxricekrispy: Damnation upon my studies!