My Audition for a Date with Kevin Smith

[Edited: Deleted video. Got annoying. Just click the damn link below]

Alright, here's what happened: while I was in L.A to see Kevin Smith in his Clerks II: Back to the Well for my birthday. My friend Spencer Brown and I were in the Secret Stash, you know, the one right next to the UCLA campus, when a group of what I assumed to be college students asked me if I would like to audition for a date with Kevin Smith. Two words popped into my mind: Fuck. Yeah. So, this was the product of it. Now, I am to ask you, the reader, a tremendous favor for me.

1) Click on this link.
2) Watch the video
3) Register into IMEEM
4) Rate the video a 5.
5)Share with other friends. And ask them to go through steps 1-5.

Now, if you want something in return, I can offer you this:
1) A part in my Henry and Hamdan Go to In-N-Out movie
2) A partical copy of the script (I assure you, the copy I'm working on is excellent and many times better than what has been previously posted online)
3) For every person you get to vote my video a 5, the bigger the chunk you're going to get in the "partial" copy of Henry and Hamdan Go to In-N-Out. I will know by the votes.
4) My love <3>

Smurf Check!

I feel I should explain. You see, Diamond Ranch has this tradition every year for Homecoming. We hold a Blackout Rally, which is pretty much a... well, a rally. Except, the rally is done outside of school hours, at night when everything is completely dark, all natural sunlight is cut from outside the gym, and there is to illuminate it is a laser show, flashing blacklights, glow-in-the-dark assortments totted by the performance groups, and the shine of the band's instrument. I am typically with the Band. There are usually skits that somewhere incorporate the Homecoming theme, along with performance groups adding to the skit.

This year, our theme was Indiana Jones, and the Indian Club contributed, along with the Dance Team, Cheerleaders, and Pageantry. Band usually just plays before and after the Rally, just as some kind of background music. However, the band people enjoy it more than the audience it plays to (obviously). In the previous posts, you can see my Tromboners doing the Trombone Suicide at this rally which a friend of mine recorded - awesome, isn't it? Added it to our repertoire of dances a couple of weeks ago, which we "borrowed" off of Youtube. Been wowing people ever since. Should've seen the looks when we did this in front of the elementary school kids: "Oh my God, they're moving!" Anywho, at the end of this rally, I randomly screamed out "Smurf Check!"

Now, somethings happens when you scream "Smurf Check!" towards a large group of DRHS Bandg33ks. A long-haired Trumpet player named Damian will reply back, "Papa Smurf can I lick your ass?", in which a large group of males within the Band scream back "Yeah, lick my ass, bitch!" Thence forth, it breaks off into a cadence of clamping and stomping feat rthymically, and it goes on until it dies off. However, after the rally, I yelled "Smurf Check!" Typically, Damian yells back with his usual reply, and so do the men, but the Drumline provided the cadence. Elated, I gathered up a handful of Bandg33ks and the Drumline, and made this video.

Trombone Suicide

Yep. Those're my boys. And girl.
Diamond Ranch Trombone's '06-'07!

A Little Fall... Cleaning....?

Just to keep my blog going alive, I would like to inform my small audience that I have done some organizing. As of now, this blog shall be used for my own personal use. Events in my life, random musings incoherent, stuff that shouldn't interest random passerbys. So yes, that means that you will no longer be seeing those intellectual posted articles that I post up a couple months ago (wouldn't matter anyways, I haven't posted any since). However, I do plan on making more. Just when I have more time. But do not despair! For I have transfered them all to this new blog, the True Anthropology of Geeks! This website will feature all of my freestyling articles, intellectual ramblings, and the kind of material that should have poeple pondering. So if you want to feel smart, check it out. I've even moved all of the old articles in there if you ever want to read them again!

Thank you Lemon-Eyed for the image.

Also, I got rid of my Henry and Hamdan Go to In-N-Out sample script. I just felt that it took up too much space on my blog. But if you want to look at it, or at least what I'm willing to offer to let you look at, contact me. I check my e-mail occasionally, so don't be afraid to send me a message!

Signing off with way too much homework to deal with,
Henry "Pootie Chang" Pham

P.S. pootiechang@gmail.com

... What?

jossungood: So how'd you weekend faire thus far, mon amie?
mccxricekrispy: It sucketh be
mccxricekrispy: Too much studying on the weekends for me
mccxricekrispy: bout you my good man?
jossungood: What a shameth it be to hear such troubling news so as to befalleth upn thee, and I in somber retriubutino offer thee my most sincerest of apologies.
jossungood: Mine, it be one of a few pleasures paired with the insatiable inevitability of mundane bordom.
mccxricekrispy: Ah, poor soul, I believe the Lord has shown some disdain in us
jossungood: Ah, this be true fellow wanderer of misfortune.
mccxricekrispy: indeed
jossungood: Let us not count thine troubles too hastily, fellow! Let us instead look resolutely toward an inner goal: doth thou wish to accompany me to a film later on in the course of my days.
mccxricekrispy: You speak of later days or of the day ahead of us?
jossungood: This one we are interlocked within.
mccxricekrispy: Ah, unfortunately, I must decline - my day is filled with too many burdensom scholarly task that I can't ignore or else it might be the demise of me
mccxricekrispy: I expect that if I were to attend, we would be viewing Science of Sleep, nay?
jossungood: Most definitely, your astute prediction doth not fail thee.
mccxricekrispy: Damnation upon my studies!

New Level of Geek

I have achieved a new level in Geekhood. I saw this shirt over at Diesel Sweeties, and I actually LOLed. I felt great pity for myself afterwards... But that still won't stop me from buying this shirt.

Henry and Hamdan Go to In-N-Out
Update

Yes indeedy, ladies and gents, the vulgar and amature works of Henry "Pootie Chang" which first started off a fun idea, has involved into something more. This is going to be turned into my own film, and yes, it will be a full-length film. So far, I've just finished the script, and it looks to be around 70 pages - which is pretty decent. However, after I finish with it, I can tell that I'm probably going to up it around 100 pages. So far, the future for this project looks promising. I already have a bunch of people up for casting (Only problem now is having them actually act) and I have a great executive producer who's already almost as passionate about this project as me (I'm looking at you, Jonathan Hoey). The script is looking good, and the future for this movie is looking better.

Oh, and sorry I haven't been updating lately. Classes have been taking up most of my life, so I probably won't be posting as much. However, this will by my primary blog from now on.

My Two Loves Combined!

It's a combination of my two loves: Marching Band and Games.


And "Raiders of the Lost Arcade!"

"Increase speed, drop down, and reverse di-rection!"

That Poor Bastard...

Poor bastard... And he could've gotten into Guiness, too.

Something to Tide You Over

Well, as of the current moment, I'm working on the next article. Unfortunately, school is about to begin for me in less than two weeks, so if I don't post that often, I'm sorry. However, I'm sure I'll be able to post a couple articles every now and then. If not, I'll instead be posting some websites to check out and to satisfy our Geeky needs, a couple know-hows, and some extra content as well - something like the previous post, except not as sloppy. Something like this:

Time Magazine has listed video blogger Ze Frank as one of the 50 Best Websites on Earth. He combines current events with witty, sarcastic, satire. His randomness and immaturity seems to part of his charm. If you haven't already clicked the links already offered, do it already. It'll only take a minute or two out of your day.

Also, for Gaming nerds and Kingdom Hearts fans, you might want to check out Kingdom Hearts: Inverted Hearts. It's a fan-made game that pretty much offers its non-canon* story to Kingdom Hearts. It's graphic are much like the Game Boy Advances, so you don't have to worry about having a great graphics card and most of the requirements are nothing big, too. What I'm really excited about is the Chrono Trigger cross over. I just hope that the creators finish it in time so no... mishaps will cause them to have to shut it down.

For you Indie folks, I've come across a Questionable Content, webcomic that is quite witty in its own way. Marten Reed, a typically attractive indie boy who's too passive for his own good, is at a bar trying to pick up chicks - however, he ends up meeting Faye, a sarcastic, dysfunctional indie girl, and who insteads becomes very good friends with him. Since the two have met, they've both been through experiences that can be quite... questionable. It's a lot of fun to read (even though it does have its melodramatic moments) and has a lot of pop culture and counterculture references in there that'll keep many entertained for hours. Even with the incomprehensible Indie-band talks, I still find the Anthropod Pint-size to be so much fun.

Brainstorming and trying to find the gist of writing,
Henry "Pootie Chang" Pham

*Non-canon: A plot/storyline that is not part of the main story line widely known. It is more of a side story, or what-if tale. The Comic Book Industry has a lot of Non-Canon stories, such as X-men: Fairy Tales.

I'm going to be out in Lake Tahoe with the family, so I won't be able to post the second park of the New Generation of Geek for awhile. I'll probably be able to get on the internet several times, though I doubt that I'll have enough time to finish the article. I'll have my cellphone if you need me. Later all.

The Spontaneous Things in Life

I enjoy them way too much. Right after my SAT Academy today (Err, or shold I say yesterday?), damn good friend of mine, Ryan English, picks me up from my place. Apparently we had a movie thing going on with the some other people at the Chino Spectrum, but a) We both weren't informed of it and b) We were too busy to arrive in time (SAT Academy for me, Work for him). We both decided to go to Chino to mess around in Toys 'R' Us while we waited for them to finish with their movie. However, while trying to park behind the building for some random reason, we instead decided to drive to Los Angeles for dinner. We went to LA, and looked for half an hour for a free parking spot (English is the man to take with you if you want to find one) in Little Tokyo.

There, we found this bitchin' Chinese restaurant in Little Tokyo (I know, the place to find Chinese food - even though Chinatown is just several blocks away). This place is called Chop Suey that, according to English, has been around since the 1920s (His grandfather went there as a child - as a bloody child!). I was amazed - we were eating in a part of Los Angeles/California history. It had these wooden stalls which people would sit in and eat, something like private booths. We went in, and I find this really attractive Asian girl serving water. I kept on guzzling my water down to keep her coming. :D Unfortunately, I'm not quite up to game when it comes to flirting...

Still, the Chow Mein was pretty damn good! And it was pretty cheap for Asian Cuisine food - I mean, for a Chinese Restaurant, it was expensive ($1 per bowl of rice! In Chinese Restaurants, rice comes for free! And you can get them by the pounds!). But from what I've tasted and seen, it was all cuisine food. You know, the fancy food you'd expect out of a restaurant in Beverly Hills or something. The rice wasn't just any rice - it was Jasmine Rice. And the Egg Rolls - it wasn't like anything I've ever seen or tasted! The Sweet and Sour sauce and a bit of wasabi in it, which just added to its taste. But enough of a critics review of the restaurant... After that, and after much browsing, we drove back home (Well, we stopped by Eric and Scott's Coressel place). So, that's pretty much how I spent my Friday night. Going to Los Angeles for Chinese Food in Little Tokyo. Spontaneous. Random. Awesome.

I love the spontaneous things about my life. Who knows - Dinner, Chinese Food in LA; Breakfast, Crappy food in Vegas.

Clerks II
"You ever see a chick give a mule a blowjob? "

Yes! I'm finally seeing Clerks II! I'm more excited than Michael Jackson gets when he sees a Chuck E. Cheese!

[Edit] Well, I've finally got to see Clerks II. I can see why Joel Siegel walked out of it. And that can only make a Kevin Smith movie so much more better if a critic were to walk out of it within 40 minutes of it. What's there to say without ruining the movie? It's better than the first. It's dirty, disgusting, wrong and I love it. It's filled with enough the stuffGeeks would love. It has Lord of the Rings, Transformers, Star Wars and blasphemy. Would I suggest watching this movie? Sure. Only if you're not easily offended. And don't mind seeing a donkey get sodomised.


And tip: To sneak into an R Rated movie for those of us incapable, go with a group of friends willing to buy a ticket for you earlier before the movie (several hours before the movie - or at least an hour). Have them give you the ticket to get in, then have your friend buy another ticket. If anybody asks, your friend "lost" it.

Huh... Well, never thought I'd do this. You know, start a blog. I had a Xanga, but I thought it was too... just too aZn. Not to mention, all it had on it were people either talking about their day or complaining about the most stupidest, and trivial things. Either that, or start an internet flame wars, and those are annoying enough as it is. That, and Xanga wouldn't stop stuff my inbox with "new subscriptions" - I still don't know how to turn it off, and I refuse to - because for one, I haven't touched my xanga since early freshmen year, and I hardly update anyways. However, I'm hoping at least with this blog, I can actually commit to this. I don't know why, but this blog hosts seems to appeal more to me - much more of a minimilist approach, I guess. That, and not that many people use this (w00t to useless-and-frivolous-trying-acts-of-individualism-that-doesn't-even-matter). That, and I know there'll be at least somebody out there willing to read this... So, why not give hmm? Alright, well here goes my first entry which'll hopefully lead to many more (dubious 'bout it, but eh, no hurt in hopin').