Monday, November 24, 2008

Wish List

I'm looking for an excuse to not to do homework right now. And what better way than making lists? Because everybody likes lists! Either it be a Top Ten list or a list of groceries! Black Friday is coming about. And that is the prime day for Christmas shopping. And with Christmas around the corner, I have a whole crapload of things in mind that I plan on getting myself one way or another. A lot of these items I've been wanting for a long time, and sometime in the future, I plan on obtaining them. One way or another. There really is no order to the way I list these items.

1) Smoking Robe

Because I need one. I love the grandiose, the laughably over-the-top nature of anybody wearing it. And I want it. Do I plan on smoking once I get myself one of these? Probably. Maybe a cigar. Or a pipe. Or better off - those toy pipes that you can blow bubbles in. I'm also going to need some slippers to add to my robe...

2) iPod

I wasn't going to want one of these. I told myself I wouldn't. But after many years I've seen so many of these around - I want to jump on the bandwagon. I know this goes against my loyalty towards PCs but since the crash of my last PC-run laptop aka HAL2000 (Rest in Peace, my beauty) I've been leaning more and more towards Macs. But alas, I wait for the next Microsoft OS, Microsoft 7, before I pass judgment. Not to mention, I just can't get used to Macs. Wait, what does this have to do with iPods? I want an iPod. I want to have music to carry around and listen to while I'm waiting around or working out. I don't care if it promotes anti-social behavior - I don't plan on talking to the women to the left of my while I'm on the treadmill. Now, I'm not looking for the latest iPods - hell, I'd do with an iPod Mini. But I don't want a shuffle. Sure, they're cheap, but I'd like to choose my music. And I'd like to watch video while I'm at it. I mean, who doesn't?

3) A Wii Game.

I've been long overdue a video game. I only game I own for the Wii is Super Smash Brothers Brawl, and as great of a game that is, it isn't enough to satisfy me. I need more! My gaming cravings have been empty lately, and even my DS is starting to lose its fun for me. So, I request one of the following:

-Wii Sports
-Wii Play
-Super Paper Mario
-Rock Band
-Call of Duty: World at War
-The Godfather: Blackhand Edition
-Tales of Symphonia: Dawn of the New World
-House of the Dead: Overkill
-Star Wars: The Force Unleashed

That's about all I got... A lot of these games have captured my fancy, and I would absolutely love to add these to my library! I plan on getting them one way or another, but not until after Chinese New Year - after I get my fistful of dollars! Weee! And, for those of you looking to buy one of these for me, if none of those are affordable, some Wii Points would be awesome, as well!

4) An Analog Watch

I need one. I used to have one, but since the strap on it broke, I've been devoid of a watch. Sure, I can use my cellphone to tell time, but I sometimes just prefer to take a glance at my wrists. That, and I miss having a wristwatch. Made my wardrobe feel... more complete.

5) Running Shoes
I've been trying to exercise lately. Unfortunately, I don't have the right shoes to work out in. I've mostly been running around in my Vans - but I like those. Oh, speaking of which...

6) Sneakers
My Vans are wearing out. And I love my Vans D: I need a decent pair to walk around in!

7) Hoodie
I love hoodies.
Don't know why, I just do :]

8) Jeans
I need a new pair. I have a crap, generic pair of jeans that I wear to work and to get messy in, and another pair to look good in. Or in my case, decent. But I need more D: I have enough shirts as it is, but jeans? I have terrible pants in my wardrobe - I. Need. Jeans. But most likely I'm going to have to get one of these myself.

9) Webcam
It'd be nice to communicate with friends that I can't see on a daily basis any more. It would be great to leave wall comments, or even potentially start Vlogging with.

10) A Digital Camera
It'd be nice not to have to borrow anybody's camera when I go out. 11) Zippo Lighter Because I can't find mine...

12) Vinyl Toys

I've been trying to get into these for awhile - unfortunately, they're an expensive hobby that I cannot afford to take up. Like cocaine. Anywho, I'd love to get my hands on some blindbox Dunny's or anything KidRobot. Or maybe a Kozik :]

13) Vintage Toy Robots

I've always loved these robots. There's something aesthetic about them, yet at the same time absolutely childish. Luckily, they're outdated so I doubt a child would love them.

14) Watchmen

'Nuff said.

15) 500 Things You Should Know
I want this book! Find it on Amazon! It's amazing! Look:

That's all I can come up with for now. If you still need help looking for anything, keep in mind - I love childish aesthetics, robots, zombies, and video games. Most especially zombies.
Back to Therapy...

The title refers to the fact that I find blogging therapeutic - despite the fact that I also find blogging about my life narcissistic (and I despise narcissism. Speaking of which, thank God for spellcheck, because I cannot spell narcissism right for the life of me).

I've been feeling depressed at night for a couple weeks. For obvious reasons.

God, I don't want to do this. This is exposing too much of my life to the internet.

But who's gonna read it, right?

Maybe somebody within my social network... or my boss...

Oh, that'd be terrible.

Maybe I should stop typing like this. Stream of consciousness is annoying. It's like... God, I can't think of a witty analogy that's literary or of any merit. All I know it's as annoying as...

Dammit, failed again. What was I talking about before my digression?

Oh yeah, depression.

It sucks ass. Almost as much as studying Descartes. Or reading Jane Austen. *rimshot* (but not to be confused with rim job).

I've decided I'd do away with the damn thing sometime in Lorbeer Middle School. Middle School was an odd phase - I think for everybody. Hormones. The opposite sex. Boobs. No longer does the cootie shot exist, but instead all we want to do is touch each other. Or ourselves.

Anywho, I decided depression is not a part of my personality. Over five years later, I've met with my old friend again. And now I have an urge to wear all black, listen to Linkin Park, and quite possibly smoke nothing but black cigarettes and watch Donnie Darko over and over and over again.

Least I have been for the past several weeks. But after an alluring conversation with my friend, Aarika (as well as a bountiful dinner with some people in my dorm that I really enjoyed :]) I've decided to do away with Depression and be who I want to be.

Problem is, who do I want to be?

I've been having a problem with college, I'll admit it. It's nothing I ever hoped it to be.

When I initially thought of college, I guess I expected something... a bit more...

Okay, I don't know what I expected. All I know is that I wanted out of the drama and idiocracy of High School and into the intellectual fire of college.

And quite honestly, I haven't found much of a spark. Don't get me wrong - the classes are all stimulating for my cranium - it's just that socially... Well, I've turned out to become quite a social retard out here. I don't know what I'm doing any more. I feel like I've lost any value that I got in high school. I mean shit, I was top shit in high school - people fuckin' loved me!

But as soon as I got here and worked my charisma and my charm, it doesn't really get past anybody. Probably because I'm catering to a different crowd now.

But why does it feel like the people I want to get away from in high school have followed me here? I know several of you know what I mean... I don't want to go into detail in fear that those same people are reading this blog (I'm a pussy like that) but I -

I'm ignoring my homework. And I have class in less than nine hours. I must take my leave. Therapy session is over. Got to get to work!

Autobots, rollout!

Thursday, November 20, 2008

So Close to Learning the Secrets of Wrestling...

So close!

I had a weird dream last night. I was taking a nap, and for some reason, I was endowed with the ability to actually play well at Street Fighter. Odd thing is, I haven't played Street Fighter in months. And somehow, my dream segued into a parking lot, dim-lit with orange street lights. For some reason, several of my friends and I were walking towards some destination... and as soon as we walked past a brick wall, a couple G-men were waiting for us. The one of the Suits just asks me, "Do you want to know the secrets to wrestling?"

Wrestling? I don't know where this came from. Maybe it was from talking to Noah - an Asian kid (Go figure, welcome to UCI) from Diamond Bar High School (and NOT Diamond Ranch High School) who did varsity wrestling for a couple years...


I wanted to know. Maybe I become a luchador or something? It'd be great - I mean, I really see no practical use for the wrestling moves, but hey, if there's a secret to it, why not find out what it is?

So, the Suit tells me, "The secret to wrestling is-"

My phone rings. It's night time. I overslept my nap. Tristan calls me to ask me if I wanted to go to dinner.

And to think, I was so close to learning the secrets of wrestling...

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Let This Be Public...

I, Henry Pham, by the power of the internet, am announcing my intent to lose as much weight as I can and to maintain a healthy lifestyle. Lord needs I've needed it since... forever. But now, it's gotten serious.

I decided to go to the ARC - the Anteater Recreation Center - and weighed myself.

"Good GOD." I said to myself

I've always told myself, "Henry. You gotta lose weight. We're gonna start next week!"

And then it becomes a vicious cycle from week to week of the same phrase. And now, I figure - the best way for me to commit to this is to make this public. Cause the best kind of motivation is public humiliation.

My name is Henry Pham. I am 5'5". I weigh 214 lbs. And boy, do I need to lose weight. I shall blog my attempt at losing weight - my goal is to become 150. I'm trying to lose 60 lbs.

... I'm trying to lose 60 lbs. That's a fucking a lot.

Oh, well. I've had no problems with commitments before. I might as well commit to this. It's a wonder why I haven't committed to this. I know somewhere along the road, there is going to be reluctance - I'm going to need some major push from people.

So, it is official. As of tonight, I have already started - I went to the ARC, ran for a mile, burned 100 calories on the elliptical machine. It's a start. Hopefully, I can amp it up a little next time around.

Here we go! 214 lbs - 60 lbs = GOAL! Here we go!

(I'm going to weigh myself once every two weeks to document my progress. If I do not, I need anybody who reads this to bug me. And call me fat. And mean names. Like I said, public humiliation can be one hell of a motivator.)
Good Grief

Usually I'm against those personal blogs. You know, the kind where people talk about their day to day lives. They lament, they rejoice, they do what ever other person online does. I don't know, I feel that people who blog about their lives... I see no accomplishment in it. What exactly is there to achieve, blogging about your life? Is an audience expected, is there some hope that your blog will hit it big with a certain crowd and it'll make you famous?

I've tried different things with my blog. A couple sample formats, just messed around with what I can find. But using my blog as something to write about my life in - well, now I understand. It's therapeutic. God knows I need it. I'm going through immense turmoil myself right now.

My girlfriend of a year and nine months - we broke up Sunday. Funny how it turned out. Both of us were napping... Well, I was for the most part. I love napping with the girlfriend. Well, ex-girlfriend. I was nodding off, opening and closing my eyes... She was sitting there, looking at me, thinking. For a minute there, I thought she was just "admiring" me like I do with her sometimes while she's asleep.

"What're you doing?"

She thinks. For awhile. I'm sleeping. Dozing off. Each time my eyes flutter, and I glance up at her, she's "thinking."

"What're you thinking about? Breaking up with me?"

It was a joke. Well, least it was supposed to be - until she slowly nodded her head.

Talk about rude awakening, huh?

We got to talking. It was a mutual thing - I wanted what's best for her, and if she thinks that breaking up is the best thing well... I love her too much. I'm not going to stop her or hinder her. Unfortunately, she did think it was the best think for her. I conceded.

We were close to breaking up several times within my first month in college. Actually, even before. It's college. Distance. I was being a douchebag to my girlfriend as well, and I feel terrible about that... Three time, just within my first several weeks at UCI, the both of us felt that need to break up.

Then, for some reason or other, we were able to patch things up. I changed my douchebaggery ways and the both of us were actually doing really well. That usually happens. Whenever there's a change in lifestyle, the ex-girlfriend and I would go through a month of problems... It takes her that long to adjust to change, usually, and I'll tell you what that month is usually the hardest to get through. But once things get going, everything's all fine and dandy like sour candy.

I was kind of hoping for a repeat of that. I mean, the both of us were doing so well, too. Most especially on my birthday weekend. But let's just say my awesome birthday weekend went to shit real fast...

I guess it's good we ended it on a good note. I'm glad. Had we broken up before, it would have ended up terrible, and neither of us would have wanted to speak to each other again. But we ended it while the both of us were doing really well... while I had a really great weekend (well, not so much anymore)... And I've always told her "Do what you know is best - what you believe it's best. Even if its at my expense - I just want whats best for you."

I honestly cannot tell you why the both of us broke-up in the first place. It's hard for me to explain it, even to myself. The best way I can put it? We broke up because of college. Distance. Religion plays a factor somewhere in there...

I've grieved. Don't know how long this grieving process is going to take. I've spent every night so far looking for a nice, secluded place. And when I suceeded, I just kind of...

Monday, November 10, 2008

In the News...

According to the New York Times, the working poor and young have received the most injury during this time of recession.

The Daily Mail reports that 1.9 billions year ago, "an amoeba-like organism engulfed a bacterium that had developed the power to use sunlight to break down water to make oxygen" - kind of like chloroplast. See where I'm going with this? This amoeba-like organism is the ancestor of all vegetation on Earth.

Genetically modified honey bees
are being put to work to save the current bee disaster; colonies of bees are collapsing and nobody knows why.

6000 Muslim clerics in India are endorsing a fatwa against terrorism.

Tyson say that their chicken is anti-biotic free. However, the unborn aren't.

Italian football - or "soccer" - players are falling dead by the dozen.

Inequality in California.

Cloverfield via Google Maps

Oh wait, here's something that isn't new: I have way too much time on my hands.

Sunday, November 09, 2008

The Right Way to Spend My Birthdays

My girlfriend's amazing. Have I ever told any of you guys that? We've been dating for close to a year and nine months - and I can honestly say we love each other deeply. Yes, I realize I'm still young and it's a bit too soon for me to say but goddammit, I love this girl. I've give more thoughts on love, but I'll save that for another day.

Now, I say this because of the things she's done for me. For my birthday, most especially. I finally turned legal on November 6th. I wasn't too thrilled about it - mostly because of the legal responsibility that entails an eighteen year old (just what everybody wants for their birthday). However, my friends did bring up the fact that I can now purchase cigars, cigarettes, pornography of all sorts, and participate in the Lotto. Oh, and who can forget the casino gambling on Indian reservations. So at least I have that going on for me.

Day of my birthday, the Yoh (aka Brian Yoshizaki) and the Sandman (aka Hamdan Chehabi) came by to visit me. We all went out, along with Tristan Schlotz (nickname pending), my dorm-mate - to see Zack and Miri Make a Porno. I quite liked it - leave it to Kevin Smith to make a cutesy romance movie centered around the making of hardcore pornography. With the occasionally shit jokes too. And when I say shit, I mean actual shit jokes - not shitty jokes - like poop. Feces. Eh, you guys get it.

Where was I going with this? Oh yeah, well the sixth of November was anti-climatic. But I was "meh" about it. Didn't really get the opportunity to go out, buy me some Djarums, a Lotto ticket, nor a skin mag. But I could honestly wait for those for another time - I mean, I've waited eighteen years, I can wait out for those a bit while longer.

It wasn't until I came home that I was really able to enjoy the fact that I just turned legal.

Now we get to the reason why my girlfriend is amazing. And why I spent my birthday the Henry Pham way.

Saturday morning, my girlfriend arrived at my house. It's always great to see her again. Surprising - the both of us had quite a rocky road to travel since college has started. Since that has passed, the both of us have been doing really well. Wait - I'm digressing again. Okay, so she arrives at my humble abode where the both of us kind of just hung out. We relocated back to her house to pretty much do the same - then headed down to our "spot," Boulevard Bagels - this little bagel shop that's just right down the street. We shared a garlic bagel with cream cheese - saving our appetite for when we go to Roscoe's Famous Deli (not to be confused with Roscoe's House of Chicken and Waffles). I had an inkling that my girlfriend had something planned over there, but I gave her the benefit of my doubt and feigned I knew nothing at all (knowing my girlfriend, she will argue against that claim).

Lo and behold, I had a little surprise from some of my close friends waiting for me here. It was nice - really nice - to get to see them again. Sam Heitz, Catie Albertson, "Babyface" Paul and Jarett "Jimbo" McElroy from high school, Carlos "The Spaniard" Gonzalez and his other half, Sarah Cevallos, the Yoh, and who can forget my wonderful girlfriend. She planned this all along. It's nice having somebody care about you enough to go through the trouble of contacting your friends and plan something.

Even better, after we all had our meal and parted ways, the Girlfriend and I went out to see Clint Eastwood's Changeling. Amazing movie - great job on the director's part, and absolutely phenomenal acting on Angelina Jolie's part. I had a problem with the script, however. Don't get me wrong, the storyline was great - I just wish the script was written better. It seemed too... uninventive. I mean, it's great - makes the story very easy to follow; however, I'd like my movies to have a bit of a twist in them. The screenwriter just happens to be J. Michael Straczynski who wrote it; he's worked on a lot of television shows like Babylon 5, He-Man and the Masters of the Universe, Murder, She Wrote, and Walker Texas Ranger. He's also a comic book writer; he's written for Spider-Man, Superman, the Fantastic Four, and Thor - which explains the several cliche lines here and there in Changeling. But the directing and acting makes up for the script. Least I believe that. Damn shame Christine Collins doesn't find her child. Though, that really isn't much of a spoiler, to be honest.

Also worth noting, that the movie does take place in California - from Los Angeles, to Mira Loma. Apparently, Mira Loma used to be called Wineville - they changed a name due to a certain... controversy. Well, go watch the movie and see.

Afterward, the Girlfriend and I moved from her house to mine. I love spending time with her. It's great - we never seem to get sick of each others company. Well, I guess after over a year in a relationship, it's kind of hard to.

That same night, I went to watch a midnight screening of The Rocky Horror Picture Show over at Claremont presented by Creatures of the Night. I've always wanted to go to a midnight showing of the Rocky Horror Picture Show and opportunity happened to come by. I went and really enjoyed myself - most especially with the audience participation. It's an amazing and unique experience - but most definitely an acquired taste. It's great - soon as Catie, Sam, and I (oh yeah, I went with them) got outside, it was raining. Gosh, I love the rain - it doesn't come by enough. Oh, and I got a pair of shades from Meatloaf that night - I'm keeping it as a good memento.

Oh, that reminds me - the spoils of my birthday!

- Free Coca-Cola shirt from Harkins Movie Theater
- Free pair of shades from Rocky Horror Picture Show
- Cash from the parental units
- A birthday card from the Spaniard
- An AMC gift card from Catie, as well as (see below)
- Cupcakes
- A collage of my time in high school from the Girlfriend

Very meager, not very much, but there's on in particular that I love most especially. The collage - reminds me of the great fun I had in high school. It's true - but cliche - what they say: You don't realize how much you miss something till it's gone.

Overall, I felt like I've had a good birthday weekend. And to make it even better, I'm going to be heading off to Fry's around Sunday afternoon to get me a new laptop... since my other one crashed...

I'm quite enjoying my Birthday Weekend. Sure, nothing exciting or anything but I quite like it - it's... comforting. Oh Gawd. I think I may just be maturing. I'm starting to lose my childhood. I got to remedy this quick - I need to go out and find me some old Power Rangers paraphernalia.

Saturday, November 08, 2008


I seem to have a bad habit of breaking promises. Its not like I mean to do it intentionally - it's just that everytime I try to make a promise, I always end up not going through with it. Even though I have good intentions (most of the time) and have the will to go through, there always seems to be circumstances that stops me from making any progress on the promises. For example, this blog.

I should get back into blogging. It's good practice for writing. It's trendy with the whole Web 2.0 culture. And I hear there's a scholarship floating around for bloggers. But I don't know - I don't like the idea of exposing my life to other people. Strangers. Random acquaintances who just happen to stumble across this page. Or a possible employer. There are stories of people being fired because they blogged about how much they hate their boss.

It's funny how blogs have turned into a public diary. Didn't diaries used to be private - meant to keep hidden our true thoughts and secrets from the world? And yet people treat these blogs as if they're their own diaries. Exposing themselves more than the pervert that visits the park during the daytime. Am I the only one who finds a problem in this? Both the pervert and people exposing themselves?

But then again, I guess that's the whole point of it. Tell everybody what's going on in your life, your opinions, and whoever listens, they just happen to. And -

Where am I going with this? I honestly don't know. Stream of consciousness. Just writing whatever comes off the top of my head. It's odd, because looking back at my previous entries I can't help but think "God, what an idiot... What was I hoping to accomplish with these?"

I'm rambling. Who honestly wants to hear people ramble? Well, obviously you do. You're still reading this right now. But I don't understand it - why listen to somebody ramble if they're not even as amusing as a Bruce Campbell movie?

Ramble. Funny word. You ever just say a word to yourself, look at its spelling, and somehow it looks and just seems alien to you. Happens to me. Happening to me right now with the word "ramble." Ram-bull. Rambo. Ramses. Chef Ramsey. Chef. South Park. Central Park. Central Perk. Friends.

Ah, I understand my problem. I'm tired. I usually organize my thoughts before working on a blog entry... But I haven't done it in so long, I don't think it matters anymore. Anybody will write anything, and if somebody finds it amusing, well I guess the entry has served its purpose. Purpose. I need one of those. Maybe as much as I need a "good time" if you catch my drift. Yeah, you know what I mean.


I wonder if I should put a pic on this blog somewhere... Pictures are always something nice to look at. Great way of catching somebody's attention. But then again, that's too much work.

I got it. No wonder why I stopped working on blogs. I put too much work into them. I mean, hell, why did I do that? Was I desperately looking for an audience? Why am I talking about myself?

God I need some sleep. You know what? Sleep sounds good now. I'll try to post another entry... Blogging good practice... but sleeping is even better...