Year of 2008 in Review (Abridged)

It has been a year of momentum for me.

I graduate high school.
I'm in college now.
I'm legal.
OJ is finally convicted.
Guns N Roses finally releases Chinese Democracy, after ten years. Albeit, without Slash.
Watchmen is finally in film production, after over ten years. Fox can suck a chode.
Dark Knight had me jizzing my pants.
SNL is actually funny.
Barack Obama.

But then again...
Gas has teetered from $4.50 to $1.50
The economy is rapidly on its way to hell
Keanu Reeves still has a career
Large Hadron Collider
The Big Three have self-destruct
Britney career is actually going somewhere good. At least that's what I hear.
David Duchovny is in sex rehab
And my girlfriend of a year and nine months broke up with me.

... that last part sucked in particular, but hey, it's added to my year of momentum. A lot has happened (or at least I'm more aware of what's happening) in the year of 2008. So let's crack open the champagne and hope 2009 does some good for us!

Till then,

Happy New Years, and Welcome 2009!

Dreaming about Paul Rudd

That's what I did last night. No, literally. Apparently, we were supposed to hang out and fly out to... God, I wish I remembered. I think it was London. Unfortunately, I had work - which is preposterous because I have the whole week off. Paul Rudd. Me. London. They say dreams are composites of your memories, remembered and forgotten; just recently I saw Forgetting Sarah Marshall which starred Paul Rudd. My friends, Carlos Gonzalez and John "The Almighty" Vaughn are supposed to go to London... It all makes sense now. What does not make sense to me, however, is how we ended up in the middle of Mexico, eating in a restaurant. Then again, most dreams don't have to make sense.

I Am Going Broke...

I took a trip to Frank and Sons today - it's a perfect place to get a gift for somebody who's well-oriented in comic books, Japanese culture, airsoft, sports, or pop culture overall. A great warehouse that sells collectibles - they've even got a place where you can get the BEST movie posters, and a booth not that far away where you can keep that poster in a poster protector :D Anywho, enough of my advertising...

I came in with the intent of spending my Christmas money (all $140) on something in Frank and Sons. However, as I thought about it, I also wanted to save my money for my trip to Solvang, California; I'm going camping with several friends from New Years Day to the fourth (the day I'm supposed to move back to Irvine - cutting it close, eh?) and we're camping out at Gaviota State Park. Solvang - a city made famous by Sideways, The Simpsons, and other television shows(American Dad, Pinky and the Brain, Kathy Griffin) - is not that far away from Gaviota, and we usually take a trip out there whenever we're around. Well, at least my friend, Spencer does.

Ah yes, Spencer Brown - he's usually the man who coordinates these trips out to Gaviota because he frequents out there often. I went with him once, and I had the time of my life. This was the summer of my freshmen year going into my sophomore year of high school - those were good memories. Since then, I've been desperate to go but unfortunately there's always bad timing. I was afraid that the same would happen, considering that my family is planning on heading down to San Diego for the New Years Countdown; my parents's friends are throwing a party and my parents planned on attending by dragging us along. Its a conglomeration of a whole bunch of families, really. That's a story for another time, however.

I'm digressing. Point is, I wanted to save money for this camping trip, so I walked into Frank and Sons determined to walk out with at least $100 in my pockets.

I walked out with $43 bucks left.

The reason for the sudden hole in my pocket?

The glory that is Watchmen. But I bought more than that.


I dropped $60 on this monolith of a beauty. I know the math doesn't add up, but I also bought other things as well. But this one was the biggest reason for the hole in my wallet. And it was completely by impulse, too. I walked out of Frank and Sons with this beauty in my hands, in shock for like an hour. Literally. Like, I knew I should be feeling guilt, but feeling it in my hands, the weight of it, the smell of it, the beauty of the page - I did not regret my buy.

Oversized hardcover collection. Digitally remastered line art. Brand New Coloring. 48 pages of extras, from samples of Alan Moore's original script to the promotional pieces.

I believe there's a song to the feeling I got while I held this beauty in my hand.

Then a thought came to mind as I embraced my treasure: I paid $60 on a comic book.

... I believe there's a six letter word for my kind: virgin*.












*I jest, of course. I just like poking at stereotypes. Ever since geek chic got popular, this stereotype seems to have died.

Apparently, I do have an audience!

I woke up sometime around three in the afternoon today, much to my horror. I never sleep past 1:30 PM, but three?! I've practically slept my whole day away! Probably wouldn't have done much with it, anyways...

I woke up to an empty house. Sure, for awhile my uncle, aunt, and baby cousin were meandering about, but after I brushed my teeth and took a shower, I walked out to find the house quiet. After my supper of Pho (because I've slept through breakfast and lunch), I grew quickly bored of what was happening around my house: nothing. I tried to remedy the situation with the internet, but it seems like every time I have the opportunity to use the internet all I want - I find no entertainment in it. And during times when I shouldn't be distracted by it e.g. finals studying, paper writing, homework, and so on - the internet is more interesting to me than whatever my studies can provide.

So, instead, I call my friend Miki Fukusumi for a chat over at Starbucks. I haven't seen her in ages - several years, actually - and decided to have a pleasant chat to see how she's doing. I don my trademark hat, and my large coat, gave myeslf a quick shave, and rushed on over there. On my way, surprisingly enough, my trusty friend Cody Speidel from high school found me in the parking lot. He's always been a kind, warm, brotherly type of fellow to me - we grew apart during the past year and I regret it. However, I did try to spend some time with him over my Christmas break, but to no avail - the number he gave me was not a working number. His girlfriend was with him, and the car was pungent with Little Caeser's pizza.

After the random chance encounter, I saw somebody that I recognized from high school outside. She was one of those faces that I see around campus a lot during my time over at Diamond Ranch High School but I never knew her name. It wasn't until I went inside Starbucks that I learned her name after all these years - Marcy.

I learned her name from another random encounter - three girls who were in my class throughout middle school and high school were there, talking it up with Miki. Tina Stutzman, Sam Zeeman, and Marika Hoeckman - odd how I'm still able to remember how to spell their last name. Then again, I have known them since middle school - I've had six years to remember.

Miki couldn't stick around long - apparently, she had a prior engagement she forgot about. Luckily, I had Tina, Sam, and Marika to keep me company. Completely random, but it was nice to see them again - most especially after high school. We played the usual game of Catch Up that every former classmates play with each other and learned some new things about other people in our lives. It was from them that I learned of Marcy's name, and at the same time it was from them that I learned that I had an audience - apparently, Tina reads my blog/notes on Facebook. Don't blame her - honestly, what's there better to do in college? Study? *pretentious scoff done in a sarcastic manner that conveys that I'm just jesting but quite possibly not*

Afterward, I spent my evening with Jessika Taylor-Nunez, another old friend from high school that graduated before I did. It was nice catching up - and once again, I randomly encountered other people from my high school: Airi Ando and Alex He. Jessika and Airi were both in band with me, and I believe Alex was in my Physics class my sophomore year. Jessika and I left Airi and Alex to their conversation after we said our hellos. Apparently, Jessika's a victim of revertigo - a condition where you start acting and dressing like you did in the past when you start spending time with people you used to hang out with. College students suffer from this most especially when they come back home.

And now, here I am. I'm writing because well - I promised Tina, Sam, and Marika that I would blog about it. They probably don't quite remember that I mentioned it, but I'm pretty sure Tina will read through this and remember an inkling of it, won't you, Tina?

Alright, I must finish up The Day the Earth Stood Still - I've had my web browser open to it all day on Youtube and I've hardly touched it. Mind you, I'm watching the original version, not the one with crappy Keanu Reeves; I haven't seen it yet, but with Keanu Reeves playing Klaatu, it has to be crap.

Hmm... considering that it is the day after Christmas, I should probably write about the loot I received for Jesus's birthday... A fabulous tie that I received from my cousin (which is actually spot on - I like dressing up in business attire and such) as well as $140 of cold hard cash. Always nice to have cash in the pockets :D

Christmas Time is Here!

Happy Chrismahanukwanzakah everybody!

And a little Christmas to all the geeks out there: 8-Bit Jesus: Classic Christmas Songs in the Style of Classic NES Games! With titles such as:

We Three Konami
8 Days of Master Robots
Ryu, The Red Nosed Ninja
Super Jingle Bros.
Contraland
Kraid, Rest Ye Merry Mother Brain
Have Yourself a Final Little Fantasy

and even more! Doctor Octoroc has provided this album, free for download on his website! And with a $15 donation, you can receive a physical album!

Wow, I'm turning into a infomercial. I should probably stop.

For those movie junkies out there, here's an abridged version of Santa Clause Conquers the Martians brought to you by Mystery Science Theatre 3000:



And for everybody else, Arnold Schwarzenegger's Jingle All The Way, featuring Sinbad!

Can you believe I spelled Arnold's last name correctly on the first try?

And to all of those celebrating it tomorrow, have a Happy Kwanzaa!

Been meaning to write in here

For a long while, actually - but everytime I have my browser open to the page where I write my blog, I always get distracted. I find it amusing how during a time when I have nothing better to do, I don't blog as much. Yet, whenever there's work to be done, I opt for writing in my blog instead. Well, anything to avoid work, right?

But I'm blogging now. For the sake of blogging and for the sake of keeping it habit. And now, for some entertainment:

A Group of Ninjas Protesting at a Pirate Festival



And for something more festive:

The Twisted Sisters do "O Come All Ye Faithful" to the tune of "We're Not Gonna Take It"

I'd Rather Fight Apollo Creed

... then have to fight this cold! Thankfully, I'd filled up on my Vitamin C via fresh orange and pineapple so my sinuses aren't that stuffed right now. Additionally, I'm listening to A Charlie Brown Christmas soundtrack and it gets me into a festive mood - most especially this time of year! I found it odd, though, that Wes Anderson always uses this album in his movies, no matter what the season... I don't blame him though, it's always a great thing to listen to. Kudos to the Vince Guaraldi Trio!

And hey even Arrested Development has used A Charlie Brown Christmas, too!




Oh, how I miss this show... Thank God they're making a movie for it, though!

There was a point to this post aside from connecting Charlie Brown to Wes Anderson and Arrested Development...

Oh yeah! A time for reflection, considering that finals are over - as well as my first quarter of college!

I'm still having a hard time wrapping my mind around the idea that I am a college student. But since the break-up - and you guys know what break-up I'm talking about - I feel myself assimilating to college life. Since I've been at UCI, I find myself more politically active and more in tune with what's going on in the world; I find this undying thirst for more movies to watch, books to read, theater to enjoy insatiable. Then again, I think I've always had the latter. I find myself more and more on digg.com and reddit.com finding whatever I find interesting to catch my eye. I don't know why, but as of late, I find myself more and more comfortable in college - and then Winter Break comes by.

Quite honestly, I didn't want to leave the dorms quite yet - I mean, I was just getting used to college! There's something about waking up in the dorms with no obligation to do anything that feels absolutely great. I mean, I had this image that I'd be studying hardcore all the time, an hour to two for every hour in class.

Not the case at all.

Instead, I found myself back to my old habits, procrastinating. I was working on my paper for Jane Austen's Persuasion and I didn't really finish it until the day of. I was working on it with my new friend, Marie Pham - of no relation, the both of us happen to share the same last name - and the both of us decided to come into class late so we can work on our paper a bit longer and finish it. We didn't show up until the last five minutes of class. We turned our paper in, happy with the fact that we were able to finish our last paper of the quarter. From what they tell us, next quarter we're going to be doing research papers. I don't mind, I quite like doing research. Actually, I quite like doing papers. I don't know whether it's the writer or masochist in me that has a liking towards writing papers, but I am kind of looking forward to next quarter because of this.

Oh, and I've signed up for an Introduction to Criminology class. It should be fun - I've always taken an interest in law, and who knows - this class might be the push I need to decide upon a career. Not to mention, I hear there's a lot of writing in my class, and considering that writing is my forte, I'm down for whatever is thrown at me.

Hmmm... I seem to be losing my attention span on this post. I think I'm going meander around on the internet before I get some well-needed rest.

"Christmastime is here/Happiness and cheer"

It's Nice...

... to finally be able to wake up without obligations. Most especially in your own dorm. There's something more liberating waking up in a dorm with no obligations than your own room at home. Maybe it's the fact that I don't have my parents looming over me? Yeah, that's it.

Woke up with an ear-infection, stuffy nose, and something going on with my throat. I had an inkling that I was going to wake up with this last night - my sinuses were more clogged than a run-down, out-of-order public toilet, and I thought to myself, "Maybe I should take that dosage of 500 mg of ampicillin I have lying around here somewhere... My throat is feeling a bit raw..."

But than again, my whole mouth was raw last night after eating some cold-and-spicy flour noodles that my dorm-buddy Elliot, made for this little feast I decided to make last night. I wanted to do a bit of a feast to get rid of the stuff in my fridge - because we're being kicked out of our dorms this Saturday and we need to clear our room of all valuables and food from our fridges. But instead, I threw out the meat, went over to Trader Joes and bought some ingredients to make some of my Red Fried Rice. Twas delicious :]

Ah... it's so nice to be able to live in a dorm without any obligations. I know I've already said this but with no classes, it feels so good! And now I can read literature I actually want to read! Alright, here's a list of books I want to read over break: Persepolis, The Yiddish Policeman's Union, and The Simpsons and Philosophy.


Persepolis, from the looks of it, is a comic about a young girl growing up in Iran during the Islamic Revolution. It's teaching me history in a format I fancy - and speaking of which, Tristan's also presented to me Action Philosophers - also a comic book, but it details the lives and details of philosophers - from Lao Tzu to Joseph Campbell. I shall look into that as well. Oh yeah, and Persepolis was also made into a movie. I plan on seeing it sometime.

The Simpsons and Philosophy I picked up because it was cheap on Amazon ($7) and not to mention, there was an excerpt on examining Homer Simpson in Aristotelian terms. Considering that Aristotle and Socrates were my strongest subjects for the past several weeks, I wanted to see there is to him. That and there's a comparison of Bart to Nietzsche, and I would like to learn more about Nietzsche. The Simpsons seem like a good place to start.

And then there's The Yiddish Policeman's Union by Michael Chabon - a UCI alumni. I initially picked this up because well... I judged the book by its cover and thought it look pretty awesome. I mean, look at the picture above - how can you NOT buy a book with something like that on its cover? That and the idea of Alaska being a Jewish State during post-WWII seemed like an interesting idea to me. They're making a movie out of this, too!

Crap, and then there's also a Clockwork Orange that I need to read through. I borrowed it from a girl I met a couple weeks ago, Stephanie, and promised to return it to her as soon as I'm done. Considering that I've had school for awhile, I never got around to it - well, here's my chance! I've already seen the movie which I must admit I did quite enjoy. Minus the rape scene.



Alright, so I gotta read Yiddish Policeman's Union, Clockwork Orange, Persepolis, and The Simpsons and Philosophy. Oh, and Action Philosphers. A lot of reading to do, but I like to look at it as a way of better culturing myself. I need it, anyways.

Now, movies to watch over break. The Spirit, Frost/Nixon, The Wrestler, and the Curious Case of Benjamin Button... And that's just in theaters. There's stuff that I need to watch over break so I can get into the loop of. Like Firefly - there are only thirteen episodes, right? Sorry, fourteen - I just checked. And all of them are on Hulu! Just my luck! Now, what else should I check out? Any movies? Shows? Any suggestions anybody?

... any?

GOOD LUCK ON YOUR FINALS

Hope you all do well! For those of you who need it, good luck! And as to quite what a wise man has once sad to me: "Pray to your God, and if you don't have one, get one!"

I Hate Jane Austen

Because of this abhorrence of a paper I have to write!

Maybe I'm over-thinking this. Maybe I'm just blowing this out of proportion. But goddammit, I don't know what to write! Either I've got a bad case of writer's block, or I'm just plain stupid...

Actually, this isn't a first time. I've always been terrible at writing papers on novels. Short stories, like Heart of Darkness, I can do. Papers on Aristotelian Courage or Platonic theory of forms and Love I can proudly say I've done with flying colors. But that's because the latter has forced me to apply something I've learned to situations and the former is a short story - there isn't as much to consider when it comes to literary analysis. But goddammit, I cannot do novels. There are too many themes, factors, and events to consider - and where the hell do I start?

I've brainstormed, I've slept on it, and I still haven't been able to come up with on outline about it. I mean, this paper that I'm supposed to write to so...

Alright, enough of me bitching. I just need to get into the gist of writing. Maybe I should have another practice in stream of consciousness.

Stream of consciousness. Interesting concept. Talking off the top of your head. Or in this case writing. Okay, not much of a concept. But interesting in the sense that you see a persons id - or ego? or super ego? How would Freud put it... Or was it Jung? Welcome to the Jungle! We got fun and games! Speaking of games, I wonder when my Guitar Hero should be coming in the mail... I snagged myself a copy on Amazon during the Black Friday rush. Well, it really much of a rush for me - I just bought it at home.

Ugh, I have that essay still pressing on my mind... Dammit, wireless internet access out here is pretty shitty. It's like - oh, what's a good analogy... Well, it's a hit and miss. Maybe I need to clear my mind. Blank sheet. John Locke - everybody is born with a blank slate for a mind - only the impressions of external influences can affect what is on this slate.

Descartes tried something to this affect - he tried to rationalize that human knowledge comes from the mind. He does this through denying everything - from his sense, to his own existence. He reduces himself to nothing but a thinking thought. It's the fact that he's thinking that he proves that he exists - thence, the term - "I think, therefore I am."

Then he tries to prove God's existence along this very same train of thought - pretty much, to paraphrase, I have the idea of an powerful, omniscient force. But where did this idea come from? Obviously, this omniscient force - it gave me this idea as an imprint of its existence and my being a product of its creation." Or something to that extent. A nagging feeling in the back of my mind says that I might be wrong, but after this quarter of thinking, I've kind of doubted the human mind. In fact, this quarter has taught me to hate philosophers. It's one ambiguous question after the other, and ends up in circular logic.

Hmm... Descargo, Escargo. Snails. Naked snails are slugs, right? Then what's a naked hermit crab - or a naked turtle. You know, it seems like all of these are edible in some way. Funny - Americans believe that bugs and reptiles should not be eaten, but mammals and sea life are alright for the consumption. I wonder where we got this idea. I mean, traveling to other countries, they've adopted reptiles and bugs into their diets - I've had escargot, crocodile, snake, and... well, that's about it. I mean, what's wrong with eating bugs and reptiles? They look disgusting to some, sure - but compare that to a pig. Pig's roll around in their own filth. After all, it is banned in some religions to eat pork.

Reminds me of Pulp Fiction, the diner scene where Jules Winnfield is talking to Vincent Vega about how he doesn't eat pork because he believes they're disgusting creatures. In the same vein, sewer rat can taste like the greatest thing on earth until you realize that you've eaten sewer rat. Isn't there a place in China where they serve Mountain Rats for food? They at fruits as opposed to... well, sewage, so I guess that makes'em healthy to eat... Not so sure I'd want to try it though. Not unless it's deep fried. I mean, the crocodile meat I had was deep fried, and it actually kind of tasted like chicken.

Fried chicken. Now that's something I haven't had in months. Huh. You know what, now I'm actually in the mood to write. I wonder if anybody really does read through these blogs... Well, obviously you are. You must be thinking this blog quite preposterous - or at least a bit interesting - in comparison to others. Don't exactly know where I'm going with this. I usually don't nowadays.

But it seems like Tristan - the Caucasian - is right - I should just write some shit down, just to get into the gist of writing. The Caucasian - maybe that should be his nickname... Kind of reminds me of the Big Lebowski; the Dude always orders a White Russian, or as he sometimes calls it, a Caucasian. So quite honeslty, not exactly naming him after his ethnicity, but rather a cocktail. That happens to be his ethnicity. I could call him the White Russian, but he really isn't Russian, he's German. And a lumberjack. Maybe I should start calling him Jack. Cause of his lumberjack backgrounds. I've seen that guy without his shirt off, it shows that he's done some work with lumber (No homo).

Alright... Maybe I can finally get to writing my paper. Hopefully I can get that shit done. I still don't know what I'm going to do, but hey, at least I got my typing fingers back.

Let's get to work.

Wish List

I'm looking for an excuse to not to do homework right now. And what better way than making lists? Because everybody likes lists! Either it be a Top Ten list or a list of groceries! Black Friday is coming about. And that is the prime day for Christmas shopping. And with Christmas around the corner, I have a whole crapload of things in mind that I plan on getting myself one way or another. A lot of these items I've been wanting for a long time, and sometime in the future, I plan on obtaining them. One way or another. There really is no order to the way I list these items.

1) Smoking Robe

Because I need one. I love the grandiose, the laughably over-the-top nature of anybody wearing it. And I want it. Do I plan on smoking once I get myself one of these? Probably. Maybe a cigar. Or a pipe. Or better off - those toy pipes that you can blow bubbles in. I'm also going to need some slippers to add to my robe...

2) iPod

I wasn't going to want one of these. I told myself I wouldn't. But after many years I've seen so many of these around - I want to jump on the bandwagon. I know this goes against my loyalty towards PCs but since the crash of my last PC-run laptop aka HAL2000 (Rest in Peace, my beauty) I've been leaning more and more towards Macs. But alas, I wait for the next Microsoft OS, Microsoft 7, before I pass judgment. Not to mention, I just can't get used to Macs. Wait, what does this have to do with iPods? I want an iPod. I want to have music to carry around and listen to while I'm waiting around or working out. I don't care if it promotes anti-social behavior - I don't plan on talking to the women to the left of my while I'm on the treadmill. Now, I'm not looking for the latest iPods - hell, I'd do with an iPod Mini. But I don't want a shuffle. Sure, they're cheap, but I'd like to choose my music. And I'd like to watch video while I'm at it. I mean, who doesn't?

3) A Wii Game.

I've been long overdue a video game. I only game I own for the Wii is Super Smash Brothers Brawl, and as great of a game that is, it isn't enough to satisfy me. I need more! My gaming cravings have been empty lately, and even my DS is starting to lose its fun for me. So, I request one of the following:

-Wii Sports
-Wii Play
-Super Paper Mario
-Rock Band
-Call of Duty: World at War
-The Godfather: Blackhand Edition
-Tales of Symphonia: Dawn of the New World
-House of the Dead: Overkill
-Star Wars: The Force Unleashed
-Okami

That's about all I got... A lot of these games have captured my fancy, and I would absolutely love to add these to my library! I plan on getting them one way or another, but not until after Chinese New Year - after I get my fistful of dollars! Weee! And, for those of you looking to buy one of these for me, if none of those are affordable, some Wii Points would be awesome, as well!

4) An Analog Watch

I need one. I used to have one, but since the strap on it broke, I've been devoid of a watch. Sure, I can use my cellphone to tell time, but I sometimes just prefer to take a glance at my wrists. That, and I miss having a wristwatch. Made my wardrobe feel... more complete.

5) Running Shoes
I've been trying to exercise lately. Unfortunately, I don't have the right shoes to work out in. I've mostly been running around in my Vans - but I like those. Oh, speaking of which...

6) Sneakers
My Vans are wearing out. And I love my Vans D: I need a decent pair to walk around in!

7) Hoodie
I love hoodies. Don't know why, I just do :]

8) Jeans
I need a new pair. I have a crap, generic pair of jeans that I wear to work and to get messy in, and another pair to look good in. Or in my case, decent. But I need more D: I have enough shirts as it is, but jeans? I have terrible pants in my wardrobe - I. Need. Jeans. But most likely I'm going to have to get one of these myself.

9) Webcam
It'd be nice to communicate with friends that I can't see on a daily basis any more. It would be great to leave wall comments, or even potentially start Vlogging with.

10) A Digital Camera
It'd be nice not to have to borrow anybody's camera when I go out. 11) Zippo Lighter Because I can't find mine...

12) Vinyl Toys

I've been trying to get into these for awhile - unfortunately, they're an expensive hobby that I cannot afford to take up. Like cocaine. Anywho, I'd love to get my hands on some blindbox Dunny's or anything KidRobot. Or maybe a Kozik :]

13) Vintage Toy Robots

I've always loved these robots. There's something aesthetic about them, yet at the same time absolutely childish. Luckily, they're outdated so I doubt a child would love them.

14) Watchmen

'Nuff said.

15) 500 Things You Should Know
I want this book! Find it on Amazon! It's amazing! Look: http://www.notcot.com/archives/2008/11/show_me_how_500.php

That's all I can come up with for now. If you still need help looking for anything, keep in mind - I love childish aesthetics, robots, zombies, and video games. Most especially zombies.

Back to Therapy...

The title refers to the fact that I find blogging therapeutic - despite the fact that I also find blogging about my life narcissistic (and I despise narcissism. Speaking of which, thank God for spellcheck, because I cannot spell narcissism right for the life of me).

I've been feeling depressed at night for a couple weeks. For obvious reasons.

God, I don't want to do this. This is exposing too much of my life to the internet.

But who's gonna read it, right?

Maybe somebody within my social network... or my boss...

Oh, that'd be terrible.

Maybe I should stop typing like this. Stream of consciousness is annoying. It's like... God, I can't think of a witty analogy that's literary or of any merit. All I know it's as annoying as...

Dammit, failed again. What was I talking about before my digression?

Oh yeah, depression.

It sucks ass. Almost as much as studying Descartes. Or reading Jane Austen. *rimshot* (but not to be confused with rim job).

I've decided I'd do away with the damn thing sometime in Lorbeer Middle School. Middle School was an odd phase - I think for everybody. Hormones. The opposite sex. Boobs. No longer does the cootie shot exist, but instead all we want to do is touch each other. Or ourselves.

Anywho, I decided depression is not a part of my personality. Over five years later, I've met with my old friend again. And now I have an urge to wear all black, listen to Linkin Park, and quite possibly smoke nothing but black cigarettes and watch Donnie Darko over and over and over again.

Least I have been for the past several weeks. But after an alluring conversation with my friend, Aarika (as well as a bountiful dinner with some people in my dorm that I really enjoyed :]) I've decided to do away with Depression and be who I want to be.

Problem is, who do I want to be?

I've been having a problem with college, I'll admit it. It's nothing I ever hoped it to be.

When I initially thought of college, I guess I expected something... a bit more...

Okay, I don't know what I expected. All I know is that I wanted out of the drama and idiocracy of High School and into the intellectual fire of college.

And quite honestly, I haven't found much of a spark. Don't get me wrong - the classes are all stimulating for my cranium - it's just that socially... Well, I've turned out to become quite a social retard out here. I don't know what I'm doing any more. I feel like I've lost any value that I got in high school. I mean shit, I was top shit in high school - people fuckin' loved me!

But as soon as I got here and worked my charisma and my charm, it doesn't really get past anybody. Probably because I'm catering to a different crowd now.

But why does it feel like the people I want to get away from in high school have followed me here? I know several of you know what I mean... I don't want to go into detail in fear that those same people are reading this blog (I'm a pussy like that) but I -

I'm ignoring my homework. And I have class in less than nine hours. I must take my leave. Therapy session is over. Got to get to work!

Autobots, rollout!

So Close to Learning the Secrets of Wrestling...

So close!

I had a weird dream last night. I was taking a nap, and for some reason, I was endowed with the ability to actually play well at Street Fighter. Odd thing is, I haven't played Street Fighter in months. And somehow, my dream segued into a parking lot, dim-lit with orange street lights. For some reason, several of my friends and I were walking towards some destination... and as soon as we walked past a brick wall, a couple G-men were waiting for us. The one of the Suits just asks me, "Do you want to know the secrets to wrestling?"

Wrestling? I don't know where this came from. Maybe it was from talking to Noah - an Asian kid (Go figure, welcome to UCI) from Diamond Bar High School (and NOT Diamond Ranch High School) who did varsity wrestling for a couple years...

"Sure."

I wanted to know. Maybe I become a luchador or something? It'd be great - I mean, I really see no practical use for the wrestling moves, but hey, if there's a secret to it, why not find out what it is?

So, the Suit tells me, "The secret to wrestling is-"

My phone rings. It's night time. I overslept my nap. Tristan calls me to ask me if I wanted to go to dinner.

And to think, I was so close to learning the secrets of wrestling...

Let This Be Public...

I, Henry Pham, by the power of the internet, am announcing my intent to lose as much weight as I can and to maintain a healthy lifestyle. Lord needs I've needed it since... forever. But now, it's gotten serious.

I decided to go to the ARC - the Anteater Recreation Center - and weighed myself.

"Good GOD." I said to myself

I've always told myself, "Henry. You gotta lose weight. We're gonna start next week!"

And then it becomes a vicious cycle from week to week of the same phrase. And now, I figure - the best way for me to commit to this is to make this public. Cause the best kind of motivation is public humiliation.

My name is Henry Pham. I am 5'5". I weigh 214 lbs. And boy, do I need to lose weight. I shall blog my attempt at losing weight - my goal is to become 150. I'm trying to lose 60 lbs.

... I'm trying to lose 60 lbs. That's a fucking a lot.

Oh, well. I've had no problems with commitments before. I might as well commit to this. It's a wonder why I haven't committed to this. I know somewhere along the road, there is going to be reluctance - I'm going to need some major push from people.

So, it is official. As of tonight, I have already started - I went to the ARC, ran for a mile, burned 100 calories on the elliptical machine. It's a start. Hopefully, I can amp it up a little next time around.

Here we go! 214 lbs - 60 lbs = GOAL! Here we go!

(I'm going to weigh myself once every two weeks to document my progress. If I do not, I need anybody who reads this to bug me. And call me fat. And mean names. Like I said, public humiliation can be one hell of a motivator.)

Good Grief

Usually I'm against those personal blogs. You know, the kind where people talk about their day to day lives. They lament, they rejoice, they do what ever other person online does. I don't know, I feel that people who blog about their lives... I see no accomplishment in it. What exactly is there to achieve, blogging about your life? Is an audience expected, is there some hope that your blog will hit it big with a certain crowd and it'll make you famous?

I've tried different things with my blog. A couple sample formats, just messed around with what I can find. But using my blog as something to write about my life in - well, now I understand. It's therapeutic. God knows I need it. I'm going through immense turmoil myself right now.

My girlfriend of a year and nine months - we broke up Sunday. Funny how it turned out. Both of us were napping... Well, I was for the most part. I love napping with the girlfriend. Well, ex-girlfriend. I was nodding off, opening and closing my eyes... She was sitting there, looking at me, thinking. For a minute there, I thought she was just "admiring" me like I do with her sometimes while she's asleep.

"What're you doing?"
"Thinking..."

She thinks. For awhile. I'm sleeping. Dozing off. Each time my eyes flutter, and I glance up at her, she's "thinking."

"What're you thinking about? Breaking up with me?"

It was a joke. Well, least it was supposed to be - until she slowly nodded her head.

Talk about rude awakening, huh?

We got to talking. It was a mutual thing - I wanted what's best for her, and if she thinks that breaking up is the best thing well... I love her too much. I'm not going to stop her or hinder her. Unfortunately, she did think it was the best think for her. I conceded.

We were close to breaking up several times within my first month in college. Actually, even before. It's college. Distance. I was being a douchebag to my girlfriend as well, and I feel terrible about that... Three time, just within my first several weeks at UCI, the both of us felt that need to break up.

Then, for some reason or other, we were able to patch things up. I changed my douchebaggery ways and the both of us were actually doing really well. That usually happens. Whenever there's a change in lifestyle, the ex-girlfriend and I would go through a month of problems... It takes her that long to adjust to change, usually, and I'll tell you what that month is usually the hardest to get through. But once things get going, everything's all fine and dandy like sour candy.

I was kind of hoping for a repeat of that. I mean, the both of us were doing so well, too. Most especially on my birthday weekend. But let's just say my awesome birthday weekend went to shit real fast...

I guess it's good we ended it on a good note. I'm glad. Had we broken up before, it would have ended up terrible, and neither of us would have wanted to speak to each other again. But we ended it while the both of us were doing really well... while I had a really great weekend (well, not so much anymore)... And I've always told her "Do what you know is best - what you believe it's best. Even if its at my expense - I just want whats best for you."

I honestly cannot tell you why the both of us broke-up in the first place. It's hard for me to explain it, even to myself. The best way I can put it? We broke up because of college. Distance. Religion plays a factor somewhere in there...

I've grieved. Don't know how long this grieving process is going to take. I've spent every night so far looking for a nice, secluded place. And when I suceeded, I just kind of...

In the News...

According to the New York Times, the working poor and young have received the most injury during this time of recession.

The Daily Mail reports that 1.9 billions year ago, "an amoeba-like organism engulfed a bacterium that had developed the power to use sunlight to break down water to make oxygen" - kind of like chloroplast. See where I'm going with this? This amoeba-like organism is the ancestor of all vegetation on Earth.

Genetically modified honey bees are being put to work to save the current bee disaster; colonies of bees are collapsing and nobody knows why.

6000 Muslim clerics in India are endorsing a fatwa against terrorism.

Tyson say that their chicken is anti-biotic free. However, the unborn aren't.

Italian football - or "soccer" - players are falling dead by the dozen.

Inequality in California.

Cloverfield via Google Maps.

Oh wait, here's something that isn't new: I have way too much time on my hands.

The Right Way to Spend My Birthdays

My girlfriend's amazing. Have I ever told any of you guys that? We've been dating for close to a year and nine months - and I can honestly say we love each other deeply. Yes, I realize I'm still young and it's a bit too soon for me to say but goddammit, I love this girl. I've give more thoughts on love, but I'll save that for another day.

Now, I say this because of the things she's done for me. For my birthday, most especially. I finally turned legal on November 6th. I wasn't too thrilled about it - mostly because of the legal responsibility that entails an eighteen year old (just what everybody wants for their birthday). However, my friends did bring up the fact that I can now purchase cigars, cigarettes, pornography of all sorts, and participate in the Lotto. Oh, and who can forget the casino gambling on Indian reservations. So at least I have that going on for me.

Day of my birthday, the Yoh (aka Brian Yoshizaki) and the Sandman (aka Hamdan Chehabi) came by to visit me. We all went out, along with Tristan Schlotz (nickname pending), my dorm-mate - to see Zack and Miri Make a Porno. I quite liked it - leave it to Kevin Smith to make a cutesy romance movie centered around the making of hardcore pornography. With the occasionally shit jokes too. And when I say shit, I mean actual shit jokes - not shitty jokes - like poop. Feces. Eh, you guys get it.


Where was I going with this? Oh yeah, well the sixth of November was anti-climatic. But I was "meh" about it. Didn't really get the opportunity to go out, buy me some Djarums, a Lotto ticket, nor a skin mag. But I could honestly wait for those for another time - I mean, I've waited eighteen years, I can wait out for those a bit while longer.

It wasn't until I came home that I was really able to enjoy the fact that I just turned legal.

Now we get to the reason why my girlfriend is amazing. And why I spent my birthday the Henry Pham way.

Saturday morning, my girlfriend arrived at my house. It's always great to see her again. Surprising - the both of us had quite a rocky road to travel since college has started. Since that has passed, the both of us have been doing really well. Wait - I'm digressing again. Okay, so she arrives at my humble abode where the both of us kind of just hung out. We relocated back to her house to pretty much do the same - then headed down to our "spot," Boulevard Bagels - this little bagel shop that's just right down the street. We shared a garlic bagel with cream cheese - saving our appetite for when we go to Roscoe's Famous Deli (not to be confused with Roscoe's House of Chicken and Waffles). I had an inkling that my girlfriend had something planned over there, but I gave her the benefit of my doubt and feigned I knew nothing at all (knowing my girlfriend, she will argue against that claim).

Lo and behold, I had a little surprise from some of my close friends waiting for me here. It was nice - really nice - to get to see them again. Sam Heitz, Catie Albertson, "Babyface" Paul and Jarett "Jimbo" McElroy from high school, Carlos "The Spaniard" Gonzalez and his other half, Sarah Cevallos, the Yoh, and who can forget my wonderful girlfriend. She planned this all along. It's nice having somebody care about you enough to go through the trouble of contacting your friends and plan something.

Even better, after we all had our meal and parted ways, the Girlfriend and I went out to see Clint Eastwood's Changeling. Amazing movie - great job on the director's part, and absolutely phenomenal acting on Angelina Jolie's part. I had a problem with the script, however. Don't get me wrong, the storyline was great - I just wish the script was written better. It seemed too... uninventive. I mean, it's great - makes the story very easy to follow; however, I'd like my movies to have a bit of a twist in them. The screenwriter just happens to be J. Michael Straczynski who wrote it; he's worked on a lot of television shows like Babylon 5, He-Man and the Masters of the Universe, Murder, She Wrote, and Walker Texas Ranger. He's also a comic book writer; he's written for Spider-Man, Superman, the Fantastic Four, and Thor - which explains the several cliche lines here and there in Changeling. But the directing and acting makes up for the script. Least I believe that. Damn shame Christine Collins doesn't find her child. Though, that really isn't much of a spoiler, to be honest.

Also worth noting, that the movie does take place in California - from Los Angeles, to Mira Loma. Apparently, Mira Loma used to be called Wineville - they changed a name due to a certain... controversy. Well, go watch the movie and see.

Afterward, the Girlfriend and I moved from her house to mine. I love spending time with her. It's great - we never seem to get sick of each others company. Well, I guess after over a year in a relationship, it's kind of hard to.


That same night, I went to watch a midnight screening of The Rocky Horror Picture Show over at Claremont presented by Creatures of the Night. I've always wanted to go to a midnight showing of the Rocky Horror Picture Show and opportunity happened to come by. I went and really enjoyed myself - most especially with the audience participation. It's an amazing and unique experience - but most definitely an acquired taste. It's great - soon as Catie, Sam, and I (oh yeah, I went with them) got outside, it was raining. Gosh, I love the rain - it doesn't come by enough. Oh, and I got a pair of shades from Meatloaf that night - I'm keeping it as a good memento.

Oh, that reminds me - the spoils of my birthday!

- Free Coca-Cola shirt from Harkins Movie Theater
- Free pair of shades from Rocky Horror Picture Show
- Cash from the parental units
- A birthday card from the Spaniard
- An AMC gift card from Catie, as well as (see below)
- Cupcakes
- A collage of my time in high school from the Girlfriend

Very meager, not very much, but there's on in particular that I love most especially. The collage - reminds me of the great fun I had in high school. It's true - but cliche - what they say: You don't realize how much you miss something till it's gone.

Overall, I felt like I've had a good birthday weekend. And to make it even better, I'm going to be heading off to Fry's around Sunday afternoon to get me a new laptop... since my other one crashed...

I'm quite enjoying my Birthday Weekend. Sure, nothing exciting or anything but I quite like it - it's... comforting. Oh Gawd. I think I may just be maturing. I'm starting to lose my childhood. I got to remedy this quick - I need to go out and find me some old Power Rangers paraphernalia.

Rambling

I seem to have a bad habit of breaking promises. Its not like I mean to do it intentionally - it's just that everytime I try to make a promise, I always end up not going through with it. Even though I have good intentions (most of the time) and have the will to go through, there always seems to be circumstances that stops me from making any progress on the promises. For example, this blog.

I should get back into blogging. It's good practice for writing. It's trendy with the whole Web 2.0 culture. And I hear there's a scholarship floating around for bloggers. But I don't know - I don't like the idea of exposing my life to other people. Strangers. Random acquaintances who just happen to stumble across this page. Or a possible employer. There are stories of people being fired because they blogged about how much they hate their boss.

It's funny how blogs have turned into a public diary. Didn't diaries used to be private - meant to keep hidden our true thoughts and secrets from the world? And yet people treat these blogs as if they're their own diaries. Exposing themselves more than the pervert that visits the park during the daytime. Am I the only one who finds a problem in this? Both the pervert and people exposing themselves?

But then again, I guess that's the whole point of it. Tell everybody what's going on in your life, your opinions, and whoever listens, they just happen to. And -

Where am I going with this? I honestly don't know. Stream of consciousness. Just writing whatever comes off the top of my head. It's odd, because looking back at my previous entries I can't help but think "God, what an idiot... What was I hoping to accomplish with these?"

I'm rambling. Who honestly wants to hear people ramble? Well, obviously you do. You're still reading this right now. But I don't understand it - why listen to somebody ramble if they're not even as amusing as a Bruce Campbell movie?

Ramble. Funny word. You ever just say a word to yourself, look at its spelling, and somehow it looks and just seems alien to you. Happens to me. Happening to me right now with the word "ramble." Ram-bull. Rambo. Ramses. Chef Ramsey. Chef. South Park. Central Park. Central Perk. Friends.

Ah, I understand my problem. I'm tired. I usually organize my thoughts before working on a blog entry... But I haven't done it in so long, I don't think it matters anymore. Anybody will write anything, and if somebody finds it amusing, well I guess the entry has served its purpose. Purpose. I need one of those. Maybe as much as I need a "good time" if you catch my drift. Yeah, you know what I mean.

Disneyland.

I wonder if I should put a pic on this blog somewhere... Pictures are always something nice to look at. Great way of catching somebody's attention. But then again, that's too much work.

I got it. No wonder why I stopped working on blogs. I put too much work into them. I mean, hell, why did I do that? Was I desperately looking for an audience? Why am I talking about myself?

God I need some sleep. You know what? Sleep sounds good now. I'll try to post another entry... Blogging good practice... but sleeping is even better...